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“They…weren’t you, Ang! Don’t you see that?”
Suddenly, I feel small under his heated gaze. With a voice that’s equally as small as I feel, I say, “It was just a game, Raf. There was no need to take it seriously.” I want to poke him. I want him to admit the real reason.
“I couldn’t kiss you because I was afraid of what it would mean. I’ve kept my distance for so long, yet it hasn’t become second nature. I’ve kept my distance because you and I both know I could never be what you need.”
“What? Committed?” I ask. “How could you even know at eighteen years old that you wouldn’t want commitment?”
“It wasn’t that,” he sighs.
“Then what was it?”
Looking down at the ground, Raf waits a beat before saying, “It was a few things, but mostly, I didn’t want to ruin what we had. It was perfect.” He lifts his gaze up to mine. “It still is. I don’t have what we have with anyone else. I don’t want it with anyone else.”
“And what if things have changed, Raf?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I’m insatiably horny all the time and it’s because of you,” I grunt, letting my filter disintegrate. I place my hand on my belly. “You gave me this incredible gift and now you parade around in your goddamn short-shorts with your juicy fucking booty like it doesn’t affect me, and I’m going insane in this hormonal tornado you’ve thrown me in!” Oops, that may have been too much. “But noOoo, you can’t even touch me because it’ll ruin things,” I say in air quotes. “And I’m not your type.”
His face contorts. “What do you mean you’re not my type?”
“Come on, Raf.” I roll my eyes. “Name one partner you’ve had that looks even remotely like me.” His jaw clenches in response. “Exactly.” I sigh heavily and push past him for the tent. “This was a mistake. Forget everything I said.”
He snatches my hand before I can grab the zipper. “No,” he grits.
“I’ve embarrassed myself enough tonight, Raf. Let’s drop it.”
“I’ve never been with someone that looks like you because every time I’ve tried, they’ve reminded me of you. And if I was going to be with somebody that looked like you…I’d be fucking pissed that it wasn’t you.”
My entire mind goes blank. Time doesn’t exist. I don’t know where I am.
“Angel? You okay?”
“No,” I reply in a fog. “You just hit the factory reset button in my brain.” I stare at the man in front of me for too long, and when his gaze lowers to my lips, I remember what I’m doing.
I’m digging my hormonal heels in.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask.
With his hand clasped around my wrist, his trance only intensifies. “I didn’t bring a bottle with us, but I still want to kiss you.”
My breath is stuck for a moment as I study him, but a tiny smirk climbs into the corner of my lips. “Wouldn’t that ruin things?”
“Fuck it,” he huffs and yanks me toward him. Before I can place my hand on his chest, he’s kissing me. With one hand on my back, and the other cupping the side of my face, Rafael Juan Dominico Jimenez is finally—actually—kissing me.
His mouth on mine is like finding a treasure trove I’ve been searching for my whole life. But it’s so much more than I anticipated. The way his soft lips devour me, like I’m the only meal he needs.
He tastes like lusty energy born from nervousness. Like a summer evening spent swapping details of yourself so private, you realize you’ve never admitted them before this moment. He tastes like a memory—the funny kind. The romantic kind. The devastating kind.
Any second now, he’s going to pull away. Any second now, he’s going to abruptly stop and say something like There. See? It’s no big deal. And if that’s the case, then I’m going to milk every second for all it’s worth.
When his tongue seeks mine, I eagerly open for him. With my left arm wrapped tightly around his back, I squeeze that side muscle I don’t know the name for as my other hand drags down his chest to his chiseled abdomen. As if my hand is a magnet, I slide it under his shirt, feeling his warm skin.
“Angel,” he whispers.
Whatever he has to say can wait. “Shhh. Don’t ruin it, Raf.” I grind against him, where I can feel him growing hard against my stomach.
Fuck yes. I do turn him on.
