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Rafael
Ikissed my family goodbye and hopped in my SUV with determination. My effervescent mood is heightened with a 1perfect song choice—one I know Angie introduced me to, and I revel in this new and exciting sensation. Though, it isn’t all that new, is it? I’ve always harbored these feelings for her, but I’ve pushed them so far down, ignoring them until I truly believed I didn’t have them.
My heart pounds in my chest like I’ve played a full eighty. “I love Angie!” I shout to only myself and squeeze the steering wheel tight. The declaration feels like I’m carving my words into stone. I want to look up in the night sky and see our names written in the stars because I’m certain they’re there. I want to scream my love from a mountain top as if I’m the first person to discover this feeling. I want to parade her around with my hand in hers and show everybody that she’s mine.
That I’m hers.
As if the heavens themselves were listening, a phone call from Angie pops up on the dash of my car. The music stops playing, but the butterflies continue to erupt from my belly. Before the second ring trills, I’ve already opened the call.
“Hey,” my voice waivers, and suddenly I’m confused about what to call her. “I was just thinking about you,” I say like a love-sick idiot.
“Raf,” she says, her voice breaking.
I furrow my brow. “What’s going on?”
“I haven’t felt the babies kick in a long time,” she cries. “Like, at least five hours.”
My gut sinks. The bubbly feeling inside my body has been replaced with a surge of panic and every hair on my body stands up.
“You’re supposed to feel them kick at least every two hours, right?”
“I… I didn’t realize it had been so long until a few minutes ago,” she sniffles. “I keep pushing on my stomach to wake them up, but nothing is happening,” she sobs.
Every fiber of my being is telling me to fix this. Protect her. Keep her and the babies safe. “Hang on, Angel. I’m going to call Ivy first. I’m driving right now, but I’ll be at Cora's house in fifteen minutes. Just keep pushing on your stomach.”
“Okay,” she cries.
When I add in Ivy’s line, I pray harder than I ever have that she picks up. She’s on-call twenty-four seven as a midwife, so there’s a very real chance she could not answer. But when she does, I waste no time.
“Hey, Raf,” she says lightly.
“Ivy. Angie is on the call with us. She hasn’t felt the babies move in about five hours. We’re both freaking out. What should she do?”
“Okay, there’s no need to panic just yet,” she says evenly. “Angie, do you have any chocolate or coffee around?”
“Um,” Ang hesitates and I can hear movement shuffling around her. “Yes. Oreos, M&Ms, and cold brew.”
“Perfect. Drink some right away and eat. The caffeine will wake them up, but keep moving them around, too.”
“What if I don’t feel them moving?”
“If they don’t start moving in the next twenty minutes,” Ivy says, “then you should go to hospital.”
No. No, no, no, this can’t be happening. These are my angels. These are the most important people in my life and I’ll be damned before I let anything like this happen to them.
“I’m almost there, Ang. Just stay on the phone with me. I’m right here. Everything is going to be okay,” I try to soothe, praying that my words manifest reality.
I’ve never driven so aggressively in my whole life. I’m driving as fast as traffic will allow, all while waiting on bated breath for any sign of movement from Angie. I can hear Cora and the guys in the room with her from time to time, getting her whatever she needs and helping her push on her belly.
Curb-checking the sidewalk in front of Cora’s place and screeching my tires, I turn off my car and bolt out like I’m on fire. Leaping through the front doors, I don’t even bother closing them when I spot both Cora and Angie on the couch in tears. Marco and Jay are each sitting in an armchair, wringing their hands with pained expressions.
“Baby,” I sob, launching myself for her and falling at her knees. My hands fly to her stomach and I bellow at my babies. “Wake up! Please, please wake up!” I push like I’m kneading bread and I feel Angie’s hands on mine. “Please,” I beg again, pressing my mouth to her skin. “Please do it for Papá. Please, I’m here. Papá is right here. Come on,” I plead.
I can’t lose them. They’re my entire world. If I had no one else in my life, these three would bring me more happiness and love than I could ever need or deserve. Everything I love sits before me. I push against her belly again and again and again. I can feel their tiny bodies behind her protective barrier with each jerking nudge.
“Por favor,” I beg, like my own life depends on it. They are my life. “Te amo. Te amo. ¡Te amo! Wake up,” I cry and kiss her skin between pushes. “Come on.”
Every single second that passes feels like an eternity. Like impending doom. Like if something horrible does happen, I’m not going to survive it either.
