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“I am leaving early. Make sure you put this food away before it rots.”
I nod, my back to her. I head downstairs, relief settling over me as I close my door behind me.
She calls you a disrespectful brat while she fixes the window with magic, Nava says.
“Of course she does,” I whisper, too drained to try to speak to her mind. Exhaustion pulls at me, and I drag myself to my bed. I collapse into it, unmoving. The hard jar remains under my pillow, and my head smacks into it when I roll onto my side.
No time like now to find out if the spell worked. I unravel the gauze covering my hands, then rub my new salve all over. The spell says it can take minutes to hours to take effect, so I rest my hands on my blankets. Suddenly, I notice Raúl’s face in the window.
I gesture for him to come in, and he does so easily, sliding a nail between the panels to undo the latch. One second he is at my window, the next he is crouched next to me in bed.
“Penny, what’s wrong?”
I shrug. “Tired, I suppose.” I pause, a burning desire to know the truth spurring me to speak. “Raúl, are you certain my mother never had a baby? Or gave birth in this tower?”
He snorts. “Never. We’ve watched this tower for generations, waiting for the werewolves to claim it again. That witch arrived years ago, carrying a baby. She never birthed one, though.”
Raúl settles in bed next to me and warmth spreads through my body. I press my face into his chest and sigh. I’ll process that information later. “A vampire came to the window earlier.”
His hand pauses in its travels up and down my back. “Oh?” he says. His voice is carefully neutral, but I know he wants to know who it was.
I proceed to tell him everything that had happened today, making sure to explain the vampire’s visit in excruciating detail. “Niles. The vampire who appeared at your window is Niles. He was the one from the first night you left your tower, too. He’s been with the vampire rebels for a while now.” Raúl’s voice is filled with worry, and I wrap my arm around his back and hug him tightly, keeping my hands from touching anything. He chuckles and I smile at the rumble as I feel it against my own body. “I’m worried about you if the rebels are continually at your window. What if they attack and I don’t get to you in time?”
I have no answer for that. Instead, I squeeze him with my arms. “I have asked the spiders to find Dreselda,” I say, not subtly changing the subject.
“What a brilliant plan,” Raúl says. “And how are your hands?”
I roll onto my back and hold them up to the starlight. The skin looks shiny, but is no longer covered in raw burns. I stare in awe when I gingerly touch them and feel no pain, only a slight itchiness. “Actually, they don’t hurt anymore.” I giggle. “Two spells now. I’ve successfully performed two spells.”
Raúl praises me and asks me more about my methods. “Not all magic users rely on grimoires,” he says. “Like the witch. I wonder if you’ll be able to do the same with time and practice.”
I laugh, deep and low, a thrill traveling through me. If I could use magic completely by myself, I would be unstoppable. Mother uses my hair to fuel her magic, and now I know the lure of magic she must feel, though how she uses my hair for her own gain makes me sick.
The fact that the spells worked gave me a deep sense of accomplishment. For the first time in a long time, I don’t dread waking up in the morning. Usually, facing another day of monotony in a gray tower—that at times seems more like a prison than a home—makes my heart beat with a painful numbness. Now? I can’t wait to see what I can do.
Riding the powerful feelings, I lean my face up to Raúl and press my lips to his. He raises a hand to caress my cheek, deepening the kiss. His soft lips move against mine and a quiet moan slips from me. I wrap my arm around his back and tug him closer. He responds by pulling my leg around his torso. His hand slips under my dress, caressing my calf.
My body heats up and I respond willingly with quiet moans and soft pleas. Time ticks by as our bodies light on fire. Raúl pulls away, panting, his eye dark with desire. “Now or never,” he says, his voice husky.
I groan in frustration. “Why do I have to make the choice?”
Raúl chuckles and skims his lips along my cheek and forehead. “Partly because our choices drive us, make us. And I’m not about to rob you of yours. I’m more… experienced than you. Like I’ve said before, I’m not pushing you into a choice you’ll regret.”
“What’s the other part?”
He doesn’t respond, so I shift my body. “Not now,” I say, frustrated. My body is clearly ready for the next step, judging from the way it responds to Raúl. My heart, however, is a different story. I don’t know if I’m quite ready to let someone in fully, heart and body. Experience has shown me when I do, it simply leads to pain.
Raúl kisses me lightly on the lips. “We have all the time in the world.”
Suddenly, the day catches up with my body. My eyes flutter close and I rest my head on Raúl’s arm. “Will you stay?”
Raúl strokes my back, holding me close. “Until before dawn.”
I smile, surrounded by the safety of his arms. If only I could have held onto it forever. But Raúl is right. Our choices define us.
“Tell me about your father,” I say.
“Why?” he asks.
