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Shit. What have we done?
MARK
I’m sitting in the weight room after the best kiss I’ve ever had in my entire damn life.
What the hell?
I run my hands through my hair and drop my face into my hands. I didn’t think my test-kiss idea through.
I frown. That’s not quite true. I did think about it, but not for very long, and I let the brain below my waist make the decision for me.
Sixteen-year-old me is cheering loudly, begging for more. Thirty-five-year-old me is wondering why in the hell I’ve risked everything I have with Charlie for a few minutes of pleasure.
And damn, was it pleasurable.
My mouth dries as I replay our interlude, and I wonder for a split second what would have happened if I hadn’t pulled away from her.
Don’t go there.
I get into position on the leg press. I need to strengthen my right leg, and I have some energy I need to burn off. A lot of energy.
My interactions with Charlie are immediately strained, even before we sit down to watch the movie. She doesn’t scoot next to me on the couch like she usually does, and I keep my hands in my lap instead of leaning back with my arm across the back of the sofa. We make every effort not to touch hands when we share the popcorn bag.
I can’t concentrate on the movie at all. I know it’s one I mentioned wanting to see, but I can’t tell you a damn thing that happened.
Charlie’s frustratingly silent after the movie. I settle in bed, leaning back on the pillows to wait for her.
She goes upstairs to brush her teeth even though she keeps a toothbrush in my bathroom now. When she comes back down, she lingers outside my door.
She doesn’t want to sleep in here anymore? Have I fucked things up that badly?
“Aren’t you coming to bed?”
“Are you sure it’s okay?” She looks nervous.
“Of course it’s okay.”
I’m not going to touch her again.
No matter how much I want to.
I swallow hard.
“I could sleep –”
“Don’t you dare say on the bench,” I say firmly.
“The couch, then.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, striving for calm in my voice when I speak.
“Charlie, nothing has changed. This was an agreed-upon test. Yes, we kissed. It doesn’t change anything. You’ve slept beside me every night since I got here in case one of us needs the other. Now come to bed. I’m not going to take advantage of you,” I add, my words an unspoken challenge I know she won’t back down from.
She scowls as she pads across the room. “I know that,” she says, annoyed. “I just didn’t want things to be weird.”
“Then don’t make them weird,” I retort sharply.
Too sharply.
