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“The Army. I was in search and rescue.”
My eyes widen, and I look at Thomas with fresh eyes. The man sitting in front of me knows exactly what it feels like when you fail a mission. Your failures aren’t just mere failures; they are human lives.
“I was search and rescue, too,” I tell Thomas and his eyes widen slightly as he nods. We share a knowing look, and an expression of understanding passes between us.
“Oh man,” Thomas says softly. “It gets better, don’t worry.”
“Does it?” I sigh. “It’s been months, and it’s not getting any better. I close my eyes and still see—” I swallow back my words.
“For me, it’s been six years,” Thomas says. “Sometimes, I go several months without thinking about the lives I lost, and on some days, they wake me up from sleep. It’s like I can hear their screams and shouts all over again.”
“So…it doesn’t get better?” I chuckle, and Thomas joins me.
“It does, but I want you to know that it doesn’t totally go away. You’ll always have a part of that time with you, but your strength comes from being able to overshadow the despair and live a life of purpose.”
“Is that possible?” I ask, doubt dripping from my voice.
“I’ve found that it is. This camp,” he lifts his hand and gestures to the people in the building. “Will help.”
An announcement goes over the speaker system, and Thomas groans. “Looks like it’s time to get back to work.”
I start to gather my trash on my tray.
“If you ever need to talk, Liam, I’m here to listen,” he says.
“Thank you, Thomas,” I reach out to shake his hand. “I really appreciate your time.”
It’s the first time in months that I’ve been able to share how I felt without censoring myself, other than with my therapist. I get the feeling this place is going to help me recover bits and pieces of the old Liam. My heart lifts as a sliver of hope fills me.
I head back to the field where the kids are running around, with Tex in pursuit. I pause to take in the beauty of the surroundings.
“Ready?” Patrick claps my back.
I turn to him with a smile. “Ready.”
“This is the fun part. Their next lesson is on plant identification, animal tracks, and waste. We’ll be using the forest trail. Do you want me to take the lessons while you watch? Or do you think you’re ready?”
“I’ll take it,” I laugh as a memory of Penny's dad teaching me this same thing flashes across my mind. “I learned this particular lesson the hard way.”
“Really?” Patrick laughs. “How so?”
“Poison ivy,” I answer. “We were walking down a forest trail like this, and I plucked it. It’s safe to say it’s now an ingrained memory; one can never forget the experience.”
“Well, I’ve also had an experience with poison ivy, but unlike you, I did know what it was.”
“What?” I cringe, knowing the damage that does. “No!”
“It was an unforgettable experience,” Patrick says. “And while it did help deter our enemies, we also didn’t come out unscathed. Like you said, an ingrained memory.”
I shake my head, and Patrick claps my shoulder again. “Now, let’s do better and help the kids create a better memory,” he says.
I smile and feel adrenaline run through my veins. “I’m ready as I’ll ever be.”
Chapter 14
Penny
“Mom!” I groan, staring into the empty cabinet. “Are you going food shopping anytime soon? There’s no food in the fridge and nothing to cook in the cabinet?” My stomach chooses just then to grumble.
