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Her spine straightens. “How else would I get them here?”
I set the vase down, letting out a long breath as I try to keep my shit. “You shouldn’t have come here at all.” I grab my shirt and head to the bedroom. “I’m not good for you, Valerie.”
“Why? Because of Jessica?”
Her question stops me in my tracks. I can’t make myself look at her as a shame I didn’t earn drags through me. I don’t want Valerie to see it. To see me as what they say I am.
“Is it true?” Her voice is closer, softer.
I shake my head. “No. It’s not.”
“Okay then.”
Her immediate acceptance sends me turning to face her. “Okay then? That’s all it takes for you to believe me?”
Valerie lifts her shoulders. “Why wouldn’t I?”
The old anger I’ve been carrying eats its way back in. “Why would you? Everyone else believes it.”
Valerie steps in closer, the flowy fabric of her dress barely brushing my trousers. “I don’t know Jessica.” Her eyes move over my face, seeing more than I care to think about. “But I know you, Fynn Hadaway.”
“You don’t know me at all.” It’s a bitter truth. One I intend to maintain.
“I know you have friends willing to go to great lengths to help you when you won’t help yourself.” She eyes the flowers Arny arranged before bringing her gaze back to mine. “I know you’re polite and kind and thoughtful.” Her lips twist into a wry smile. “With the exception of your little vanishing act yesterday.”
“I’m sorry.” The apology rushes out, more true today than it was yesterday. “I shouldn’t have left you.”
“No. You shouldn’t have.” She straightens. “But I’m willing to get over it.”
A tiny grain of an emotion I thought left me long ago takes hold, trying to get footing in the pit of my cold, desperately lonely soul. But I can’t let it. “It doesn’t matter what you’re willing to get over, Valerie. It won’t change the fact that I’m not going to let you drag yourself through the dirt with me.”
Her eyes narrow. “Let me?”
I give her a single nod. “Let you.”
Valerie’s eyes flash and her nostrils flare as she steps closer, her body barely a whisper from mine. “Let me tell you something, Fynn Hadaway.” One finger comes out to stab at my bare chest. “No one tells me what to do—” I think she’s going to continue, but Valerie’s mouth clamps shut for a second before she sucks in a quick breath and repeats herself. “No one tells me what to do.”
She faces me down, a woman with an unbreakable spine and power she yields with careful precision. I have no doubt it’s how she got into my apartment today. Brains and beauty are a dangerous combination. One most men don’t see coming even after it brings them to their knees.
But I see it. And I would still love nothing more than to go to my knees for this woman. “I don’t doubt that for a second.”
Her eyes widen. “You don’t?”
Her reaction makes me pause. It’s almost as if she’s shocked I see her for what she is. “No.” I catch a bit of her dark hair between my fingers, allowing myself this small touch. “I can’t imagine anyone with half a brain would ever stand in your way.”
I stare at the silky strand as I slip it between my fingers, wishing I could have just a little more of her. A tiny taste of her mouth. A single inhale against her skin. But I don’t trust myself with this woman. Not when I know I need to let her go. Let her find a man she can be proud to stand beside.
The thought sends a hot rush of jealousy coursing through my veins. The image of someone else at her side. Holding her. Kissing her. Fucking her.
When I can’t.
Her soft gasp is the only thing that makes me realize what I’ve done. And even then it’s too late.
Because Valerie Berdard is already pressed against me, my arms pulling her soft body tight against mine.
Her hands are already shoved into my hair.
And my mouth is already on hers, swallowing down that soft gasp in the kind of kiss I shouldn’t be giving her. But she tastes so fucking good. Her lips feel so damn soft and sweet as they slide against mine. Her body fits to mine so perfectly, all soft curves and warm, smooth skin.
