AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Me? Married? Is River out of his goddamn mind?
Marriage has never been part of my plan.
The mere thought of it implodes my brain.
He’s after something. Has to be. Men like him only want to take.
I’m confused as to why I’ve given him more and more these past few months.
I can’t even say I hate him anymore because I naturally gravitate back to him.
When I arrive home, I find Vance and Clay waiting for me.
“Miss, you were gone longer than we anticipated,” Vance says.
“I was at River’s, and I was fine,” I tell him as I throw Clay the keys. “Make me some tea. Then after that I plan to sleep and not wake up for a full day.” I go straight to my room and undress.
Although I left River, I can’t get him out of my mind.
Pregnant? I scoff.
That could never happen. When I was twenty-one, I paid a private doctor a lot of money to fix it so I could never have a child. It was money well spent. I would never want to bring a child into my world. It’s already fucked-up and dangerous enough for me, and I’m a full-blown adult who knows how to use a weapon.
I strip down to nothing and beeline for my shower. I wait until the hot water steams up half the bathroom as I stare at myself in the mirror.
I didn’t even ask River why he was looking into my brother and Meredith. I just literally went over there and had my brains fucked out. I crawled to him. And the memory elicits goose bumps to pop out over my skin and stirs another pounding in my core. But fuck, it felt good. Every part of it. And him.
Running my hands through my hair when I step into the shower, I’m furious about giving so much of myself to him. He doesn’t deserve it. And when I tried to take it back, he just laughed and decided to make me come instead.
And damn, it was good.
So fucking good.
I know for certain that when I sleep tonight, my dreams will all center on him, and that annoys me so much more than I can say.
Running my hands down my body, I remember how he tied my wrists behind my back, how he stopped me from talking by gagging me.
Everything was somehow so perfect.
He seems so sure of himself, so arrogant in the way he assumes that I want anything more from him than sex. But it was only months ago that I said I’d never let him touch me, wasn’t it? Now it’s all I crave, and it’s becoming harder to remain mad at him.
He wants to marry me one day? I don’t want marriage; that’s the last thing in this life that I would ever want. Why would I want a man to control me or have any type of hold on me? I am my own woman and boss.
Yet when he does stifle my control in the bedroom, I feel free for the first time.
Fuck, my head’s a mess as I consider Meredith’s words. Is he using me?
But hasn’t she done the same all my life?
Or am I simply making an excuse for a man who I’ve undeniably somehow let slither a tendril into my heart.
Fuck. I’ve really fucked up.
My phone rings, and I ignore it. Usually, I would run to it, hoping it would be Alek. But tonight, I don’t want to know.
I don’t want to hear the outside noise or opinions of others on how I should live my life. It was perfect only months ago, and now it feels like it’s falling apart, no matter what way I try to direct it.
Besides all my riches, empire, and power, do I want anything more in life?
