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“It’s new.”
“Well, buddy, I’m glad to see you… moving on.”
He says the last part carefully, and I don’t blame him. Six months ago the thought of moving on would have been enough to make me want to barf. Now, it feels a little more doable—especially with Nia. Things with her feel easy. He and Beanie both tried to encourage me to live my life, to move on. I never felt good enough to move on. I carry the guilt of Robyn’s death like a stone weight around my neck.
Truthfully, I’m still not sure I should be moving on, but all I know is when I’m with Nia I feel a peace I’ve never experienced before—not even with my late wife.
I don’t know how I feel about that realization. What I do know is Nia shouldn’t be looking twice at me. I’m hardly a good catch. I’m a single dad who is hung up on the past.
“I’m not sure I deserve a woman as good as her.” It feels good to admit my fears aloud, especially to Slider, who knows everything I’ve been through and how low things got for me in the immediate time after Robyn’s death.
“Well, there’s still time for her to realize she can do better,”Slider jokes.
“Asshole,” I mutter, although he’s not wrong. She could decide my baggage is too much and walk away. The thought makes me cold all over. “I’ll see you when you get here.”
“Okay, pal. And J-Dog?”
“What?”
“I really am happy for you.”
Warmth fills me. “Thanks, Slide.”
“Any time.”
He hangs up and I do the same.
“You do deserve me.”
Nia’s voice from the doorway has me twisting to look over my shoulder, my heart thrumming beneath my ribs.
Some former soldier you are, asswipe. You didn’t even notice her standing there.
My eyes linger on her frame. She’s forgone the jogging bottoms and is wearing just the tee I gave her. It barely hits her mid-thigh, showing off the expanse of her long legs. I force myself not to ogle, but I can’t deny how alluring she looks wearing my clothes.
“How long were you standing there?” I ask.
She dips her head, a little embarrassed maybe. “I didn’t mean to listen in. I was going to say I was standing here, but then I heard you say that.” She moves into the room and I find her in my arms and wrapped around me like a vine. “I know this is new and we’re both scared of what it means, but you have to talk to me if you start getting freaked out. Don’t bottle it up, okay? Promise?”
I nod at her and then dip my head to capture her mouth. She’s soft beneath me and I can taste toothpaste, so I guess she must have finger brushed her teeth or used mine, since I don’t have a spare toothbrush in the cabinet.
“Slide’s on his way over,” I tell her when I pull back.
“Okay. I’ll get dressed.”
“I need your apartment and shop keys.”
Her brow narrows at me. “For what?”
“Slider’s going over there to fix the door at your apartment and make sure it’s secure, and I’ve got a guy coming to fit a new security system at both the apartment and the store.”
Her eyes flare. “You have?”
“Yeah, sweetheart. I don’t like the idea of you being there with no protection. It’s not much, but this is the best I can offer—short of moving you in here.”
“How much is it costing?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
