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“Nothing you need to worry about.”
“I only have you and Coop to worry about, what with your sister down in Florida. Humor me.”
I don’t want to get into this with her, but I know Mom. She’s not going to let this go, so I take a seat at the dining table and receive the coffee she pours me with a murmur of appreciation.
“A woman asked me to dinner yesterday. Nothing romantic, just to say thank you, but I didn’t handle it very well.”
“What did you do?”
“I told her no, but I think I was a little abrupt.”
Mom sucks a breath in through her nose and wraps her hands around her mug. I can tell there’s a sermon about to hit me.
“I understand why you acted the way you did, but Jared, darling, you need to let go of the past. Talking to a member of the opposite sex isn’t betraying Robyn.”
Logically, I know this, but it doesn’t make it any easier to handle. “Every time I feel like I’m moving on, something comes along and throws me off balance.”
She grips my forearm. “It’s tough, darling, it is. I don’t think we’re meant to grieve for the rest of our lives either. You’re young, you can have something good with someone else if you just forgive yourself.”
I can’t do that. I wish I could. Logically, I know the collision wasn’t my fault, that it was the other driver who caused it all, but mentally is another matter. I blame myself for putting the car in his path. I blame myself for bringing my wife and son out that day, and I blame myself for making my son motherless.
I push up from the table. “I gotta go, Mom.”
“Don’t rush off. Stay for a while and talk this through. You can’t keep avoiding the issue forever.”
I can’t, but I will today.
I lean down and kiss her head, then I’m escaping back out to my car. Mom’s right, I know she is, but I can’t get my own thoughts in line with hers.
Which means when Nia asked me to dinner, I freaked.
I head over to the garage, my mind full of Mom’s words and my own stupid actions. It was just dinner. It’s not like she asked me to marry her. My reaction leaves me feeling embarrassed and humiliated. I should have said yes. There was nothing romantic in it, but now I’ve made it awkward by acting like there was.
When I pull into the parking lot at work and cut the engine, I can’t stop my eyes from gravitating over to the antiques shop. I can just about make out the shadowy figure of her inside the store and my stomach lurches. I made an idiot of myself.
Gripping the steering wheel, I try to think how I can fix this, but I have no idea.
A knock on the window has me twisting quickly. Slider is looking back at me and I can see the confusion lining his face.
“Are you getting out, or staying in there all day?” he asks.
I unbuckle my seat belt and open the door. “I’m getting out.”
Slider eyes me. “You doing okay, Sergeant?”
Referring to me by my rank in the Army throws me a little. It’s been a long time since I heard that come from Slider’s mouth. I guess we all fall back on old habits when we’re in the moment.
“Yeah, pal, I’m fine.”
His gaze goes across the street. “Is there something going on between you and Nia?”
I sigh at his hopeful tone. “No.”
“Do you want there to be?”
I pause. “No.”
“Are you lying?”
Yes.
“No.”
“All righty then.”
He heads toward the workshop, and I follow, but not before casting another glance in the direction of Nia’s store.
