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Loaded up with pizza boxes and a bag of freebie sides Briony threw in, Tiff keys in the entrance code to their block and we head back up to Josh’s apartment. I feel quite at home here already, and Tiff makes the homeliness even more natural by putting the food on the side like we own the place and grabbing some plates from the cupboard.
“There’s some prosecco in the fridge, I think,” she says, and I grab it and uncork it while she lays out the pizza and sides.
I hand her fizzing glass over and she raises it straight in the air.
“To you and Josh. And to Belgravia. We’ll all be pleased to have you.”
“Thanks.”
I’m glad Tiff is here with me tonight as we sit ourselves down on Josh’s plush sofa and flick through the TV channels. If she wasn’t alongside me, my brain would be on overload, pulse racing at the thought of Josh with his client. The clock would be tick, tick, ticking at the rate of one agonising second an hour.
I spoke to her plenty last night when Josh was with us, but one on ones are always different – a touch more personal, when you’re out to forge a genuine friendship of your own. She’s great, laughing and joking, and distracting me with chat, but no matter how I seem to sit on the sofa, I just can’t get comfy, and it only gets worse. I’m edgy. All wriggle, wriggle, wriggle as we talk, until finally she reaches out and puts a hand on my knee.
“It’s alright,” she says. “I know it must be flipping you out, knowing he’s with a client right now. But it’s for money. Believe me. It means sweet fuck all.”
“I know,” I reply. “I mean, it’s exactly the same for me when I’m on proposals, and it won’t impact how I feel about Josh… it’s just.” I sigh. “I don’t know.”
“Be honest,” Tiff says. “Say it straight. Voice your thoughts, because you do know. You just don’t want to admit it to yourself.”
Wow, she’s direct. Her gorgeous cat-flicked eyes boring straight into mine.
My insecurities want to choke me, addressed so directly.
I brace myself, and let my words run free.
“I guess I’m scared she’s better than me. And I’m scared he’ll realise I’m not good enough, or smart enough, or cool enough, and that he’s got it better with other people.”
“No,” Tiff says. “It’s not other people, is it? It’s not about every client on his proposal list. It’s other women. Especially one on one. The direct comparison.”
She’s right. It is. The thought of him fucking five guys at once has nothing on him fucking one solitary woman. I’ve got to be honest with myself. It’s the lingering fear from Connor. Of him wanting someone else more than me.
Only he didn’t, did he? Not when it came to it. The pathetic asshole tried coming right back.
“His client tonight is hot, sure,” Tiff says. “Check her out on the forum, if you want. Loads of entertainers talk about her.”
My stomach lurches at her words.
“But,” she continues, “she’s also a pain in the fucking ass. She’s a whiny, entitled bitch, who harps on about everything she could possibly perceive as negative in her grandiose lifestyle. Unless you plug her mouth up with cock, that is. Thank fuck she likes deepthroat.”
I have to giggle at that.
“It’s true,” Tiff says. “Josh is too much of a gentleman to complain about his clients, ever. He’s way too grateful for their business, and he’s far too professional to be snipy about them, but seriously.” Tiff raises a hand. “I know, because I’ve been there. She wanted to try a girl-on-girl threesome, so I accepted one of her proposals, but the whole time she wanted to outdo me. Nothing more. She wasn’t interested in pussy, she was interested in bossing me around. Which is cool, when it’s not by her.” She laughs. “Urgh, she’s annoying. I’d turn her proposal right down if she sent one again. Josh is only loyal to her because he does her stepdad as well, only she doesn’t know it. Her stepdad pays a hell of a lot more than she does, and he knows it.”
I try to wrap my head around that. Her stepdad must be… old. Old and well aware his stepdaughter is having the same guy.
“What the hell? Honestly? That sounds pretty interconnected…”
“The whole Agency is quite interconnected. So many of the clients know each other, it’s unreal. And we deal with the big payers, the higher echelons, not the general members who want to pay a couple of hundred for a bit of vanilla every few weeks. We’re in a very different ball park.”
I hadn’t really thought about it, but with the kind of money clients throw around, and with the bulk of the clients being in the city…
“This woman doesn’t know Josh fucks her stepdad? Really?”
“No, and he wouldn’t tell her. Not ever. Not just for confidentiality’s sake, but because he’s not a blabbermouth. Ever. And he won’t speak badly of his clients.” She smiles. “He’s way too nice for that. That’s why you’ll rarely ever see him in the chat group or forums. He can’t stand the bitching.” She pauses. “And believe me, if anyone tried to talk badly of me, or you, he’d shut them down in a flash.”
“Yeah, I saw that earlier.”
I tell her about the events outside my place and she beams with pride.
