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“Not in front of her new boyfriend, she won’t. She’ll be putting on too much of a Little Miss Perfect display.”
“What’s his name, this new guy?” Josh asks.
My heart is suddenly pounding at his words. I look over at the door, my head spinning. It will take one hell of a scrabble to get around Emma, Craig and Polly-Anne if I need to run.
Stop it. I’m being paranoid. Just paranoid. I keep my smile on my face, shoving the stupid fears away, because it’s nothing but paranoia.
This guy’s name could be anything. Alex, Aaron, Eddie, Egbert, Graham, Leon, Leroy, Bertie, Ben, fucking Zeppelin. Who knows, and who cares, just as long as it’s not…
“Connor,” Georgia says, and my world implodes, just like that. “Carly’s new boyfriend is called Connor.”
“Sorry, what?” Josh says. “His name is Connor?”
Georgia nods. “Yeah, a guy she met in Camden. He’s hot, apparently. A punky looking rocker. Ha. Put a purple streak in his hair and maybe he’d look like you.”
Josh looks at me, wide eyed in horror, and I must be like a ghost staring back at him. I want to run, but I can’t, I’m stuck in position, I’m stuck here. In my seat. With Josh’s family all around me. Oblivious.
Oh shit. Oh fucking shit.
What the fuck am I going to do?
I have to try something, and Josh is ready to help, he takes my hand under the table, squeezing my fingers in support. Fuck it. I want to run out of here and bail before this car crash becomes reality. The universe has withdrawn its good fortune today, and it’s laughing at me. It’s laughing in hysterics.
A HELLO, sounds out from the hallway, and I hear Heather call out a hello, Carly in return.
My stomach lurches and I’ve gone all shaky and I’m close to throwing up my breakfast.
“Ah, there they are,” Emma says. “I thought she’d be later than this. She must be super keen to show him off, the incredible Connor. Sorry, Ella, she really is trying to pee on your parade.”
Pissing on my parade could never do it justice. Feasting on my soul, more like it.
Carly and Connor are here. Now.
I’m so going to puke.
I’m really going to fucking puke.
I nearly do when Josh’s little scarlet haired sister Carly steps into the dining room, hand in hand with my smiling ex-boyfriend. I have to clamp my hand to my mouth to keep it down.
My eyes meet his, and he pales instantly, eyes wide. Both of us caught in the grip of the embarrassing fucking depths of hell.
Carly introduces him to her family members one by one, and I’m one of the last. She introduces me with a wave, and a hey, pleased to meet you herself, and from her stance it’s clear she hasn’t got a clue.
“Connor, this is Holly,” she says. “Josh’s new girlfriend.”
Holly, oh fuck.
“It’s Ella, not Holly,” her mum says. “Holly is her agency name, not her real one.”
I die inside.
“An agency name? What the hell is that?” Connor asks, on ghostly autopilot as he sits down at the table opposite me.
Carly laughs.
“You must remember what I told you, right?” she asks him, and he looks at her momentarily. “Please tell me you weren’t too wasted to remember that my big brother Josh is a hooker. His name is Weston when he’s working.”
“Caroline, stop it,” Josh says, trying to intervene, but she shrugs.
