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Another Bonnie scoff. “But was it?”
I like my chart—we can argue about that later. First— “What do you mean, we all know that I won’t go?” I ask. Her words really should not offend me so much—or at all! I’m not going. She’s not wrong. In fact, she’s very very right. So, why does it feel like such a blow?
“She could go, Mother,” Bonnie says. “You can be impulsive, Meg. You bought those tickets. Why not use them?”
“Sure, she can be impulsive.” Mom nods and gives me an encouraging wink—one that is meant to placate me. “She could drop everything on her to-do list this minute and buy that new hamster right now!” Mom gives me one doughy thumbs-up.
“Mother! She could go.” Bonnie gripes. “Meg!” she barks at me now. “You need to do this!”
“I could,” I say, but it’s weak. It has none of Bonnie’s conviction. It’s the voice of a comfortable girl. A girl ready to garden. “Why are you so certain I won’t, Mom?”
“Meghan Michelle, I know you, darling. You are hardworking, kind, and loving. You are studious and organized. Your sock drawer is a masterpiece. But you are not spontaneous. And Hawaii—alone? I don’t think so.” Her brows raise. “And—that is okay, my dear. It’s okay! Be okay with who you are.”
“It’s also okay for her to change things up a bit!” Bonnie says.
Mom stops her kneading and Bonnie halts her typing. They both peer at me. As if I’m the tiebreaker. I don’t want to be, though. I don’t want to disappoint Bonnie. And in this second, I don’t want to tell Mom she’s right. Even if she is.
I swallow, glancing down at the shoe box on my kitchen table. My heart thumps in my chest. Poor Chuck. Did he really get to live? Such a short life for such a sweet hamster. “I’ve got some things to take care of. I’ll talk to you both later.”
I end the call and breathe. This isn’t a difficult decision. It’s not even a decision!
But I don’t want to have anything in common with Kyle Wells—including lying.
I stare at my dark phone, heart pounding, then text the only person who might understand how I’m feeling. Brooke.
Me: How much do you regret leaving your real life to party it up in Cali?
Brooke: Um, no regret. Best decision of my life, girl.
Brooke: Meg, what’s up?
Me: I have tickets. Tickets to Hawaii. Tickets I hadn’t planned on using. And now I’m wondering about that. But going would be insane. That isn’t me. Right?
A minute passes. I wait for Brooke to give me her opinion—mine cannot be trusted at this moment—when a text from a completely separate group pops up.
Brooke: Ladies, our longtime Sunny-girlfriend needs some advice. Meg’s got tickets to Hawaii. The question is to go or not to go.
I talk to my college roomies, the Sunny girls, from time to time. They will always be some of my favorite people. We’ve stayed connected. It’s just not as consistent as when we lived in that old house on Sunny Drive back at CU in Colorado.
Ava: What are you waiting for?
Maggie: Hawaii has some of the best hikes you’ll ever go on. Right, Sadie?
Chloe: Sadie’s at camp. She doesn’t always have service.
Ava: I’ll speak for her then. DO IT!
Brooke: What’s the problem, Meg? Why are you wondering?
Me: They’re tickets that Kyle and I were supposed to use together. I feel weird about it. After we broke up, I planned to give them away or sell them. But nothing worked out.
Chloe: Kyle is an idiot.
Ava: Ick. I never liked him.
Maggie: You never met him, Ava.
Ava: I didn’t need to.
