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He looks out and worries his lip. Now I’m really feeling anxious.
“So, I’ve been debating all day whether I should say anything or not, but I just really feel like you have the right to know this because it affects you,” Aaron begins, angling his body toward mine. “Mateo is looking into playing soccer professionally.”
I stare blankly at Aaron as my brain tries to compute. “Huh?”
He blows out a breath before continuing. “Mateo, he’s talking to some professional soccer teams about joining after he graduates.”
My heart pounds in my ears as I process what he’s telling me. I stand up, letting my backpack fall to the ground as I start pacing back and forth.
“What are you saying? Like, he’s committed to a team?” I ask.
Aaron stands and holds his hands up. “I don’t know all the specifics; he didn’t share everything. I just know that he’s been pursuing it for a while, that he’s hoping to play for a professional team. And I know that you’re already committed to going to California, and…I assume you were picturing Mateo going there also,” Aaron finishes with an awkward cough.
I’m still pacing as my adrenaline builds. “But Mateo hasn’t mentioned anything about this. He hasn’t said anything about continuing to play soccer,” I say out loud, half to myself and half to Aaron.
“I know. That’s why I felt like I should tell you. It’s something you deserve to know if it could affect your future. I just didn’t think it was right for you to continue planning something that might not happen. It didn’t seem fair to you,” Aaron says.
Why wouldn’t Mateo tell me about this? I thought we would be getting engaged, getting married, moving to California together. How could he not tell me he’s considering this? My breath grows shallow and rapid. Dots cloud my peripheral vision.
Aaron’s hands grasp my elbows, and he turns me to face him. “Lana, take a deep breath. In, out, in, out,” he guides my breathing. My vision clears as my breath stabilizes, but my heart still feels like it’s in a vice grip.
“Why hasn’t he told me?” I whisper.
Aaron shakes his head. “I don’t know, Lana, but I’m here for you.” His grip on my elbows tightens, and I look up. His blue eyes are fiercely locked on mine, and he takes a half step closer. “I’m…I’m still here for you, Lana.”
Aaron’s words click into place in my mind, and I wrench my arms out of his grip and step backward. “Don’t you dare,” I hiss as Aaron reaches out to try to take my arm again.
“Lana—”
“NO!” I bark angrily. A girl walking past on a nearby sidewalk jumps, then hurriedly walks away as Aaron closes in to try to contain our conversation.
“Lana, I just want to be here for you as a friend, and, you know, in the future, if you want something different, I just…want you to know I’m here,” Aaron says in a low voice.
I ball up my fist and punch hard against Aaron’s chest. “I cannot believe you would drop this bomb on me about Mateo and then try to capitalize on the mess, hoping I’d run to you.” My eyes flash with fire as I glare down the caught-with-the-cookie-jar expression on his face. “I’ve told you multiple times—I don’t have feelings for you anymore. We are just friends.”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, just forget I said that,” Aaron backpedals.
Grabbing my backpack off the ground, I whirl back around to face him. “We are not friends anymore. Don’t try to sit by me in class or talk to me again. Regardless of what happens with me and Mateo, I’m done with you, Aaron.”
I stalk off, ignoring his attempts to call me back to let him explain. I’m trembling with anger at Aaron. But as I walk through campus, my anger at Aaron gives way to panic, to confusion, and to anger at Mateo.
How could he not tell me??
Instead of going inside AOPi, I lock myself in my car and sob.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Just a couple of hours later, Mateo is scheduled to pick me up to go to The Hangout together. As upset as I feel, I won’t bail on my girls at the last minute. I spend the two hours trying to think of every possible explanation for this being a giant misunderstanding, but I can’t construct a convincing argument.
Mateo pulls up in his truck, and I climb inside. Maybe he’ll tell me himself on the drive over, I think. Inwardly, I feel nauseous, but I fight to keep my composure outwardly.
“So, what did you do today?” I ask as casually as possible. I must be acting weird despite my best attempts, because Mateo glances over and looks at me a little funny. Darn it, why did I never sign up for those poker lessons??
“Uh, the usual Tuesday. Bible study, class, worked out and scrimmaged with the team,” Mateo answers, flipping on the blinker before turning into the parking lot.
“Oh, nice. You still seem to play a lot with the guys,” I respond, leaving what I feel like is an open invitation to explain why he keeps playing soccer so much.
“Yeah, it’s been good to keep hanging out with everyone. We should finally schedule that rematch between us and Chris and Andrès,” Mateo says with a smile, putting the truck in park.
