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“Thank you, Daddy,” she whispers.
She turns her face into me as I hold her in the water, and she cries.
And it breaks whatever there is left of my heart.
THIRTY-TWO
dakota
“Omigod!” Harley sweeps me into a hug, then looks past me. I know what she sees.
A big man. Gorgeous. Dangerous. With a beard, who looks like he took on a bar of bikers and won.
And next to him is a woman. He called her Red. She’s small. Red-haired and I’ve got a feeling her hair color isn’t how she got her nickname. I think she might be almost as deadly as Orion.
“Let’s go inside.”
I look over my shoulder and give him one hard look, but his face is a serious, blank canvas. So I turn back to Harley, then take her arm and drag her inside. I can hear Alejandro, her dad, on speakerphone from his study. I’m betting Smith had something to do with him being home, because he doesn’t come out to say anything. Like he knows what might have happened.
Even though this is home, I don’t want to be here right now.
I wanted to stay at Orion’s, but he’s got a meeting, so I’m here with a woman named Red to protect me.
As I follow Harley up the stairs, in the black outfit that’s boxy and made for running and hiding, I want to be jealous of Orion and this Red person. But I didn’t pick up on any chemistry between them and… And, I tell myself, it’s not my business.
No matter what happened last night and today.
We had sex today. I had to ask. And I feel a little gross because what if it’s just pity? What if he thinks I’m tainted?
Then the memory of the bath comes to me, making my cheeks burn and the back of my neck a little sweaty. Thinking of the “Daddy, touch me” conversation is embarrassing because it was so real.
Not real as in crossing the line into something wrong, but real because it wasn’t about our playing Master and his submissive at all.
Real as I asked him to help, be that master to wipe it all away. And he did that. We slid into it so easily, and he was the Daddy/Master who let me be okay with myself, who let me give myself permission to invite good touching. To come to wash away the dirt of what happened.
Real as in I asked Orion to come into something so painful, so vulnerable, and make me feel good. Real as in he didn’t judge, just did it. He let me give him my pain and guilt and all the things I didn’t have words for and he took it.
He became what I needed. A shining star to make decisions for me.
One who tells me I’m good and perfect.
A Daddy in the purest of kink. For me.
And for that moment I was the perfect girl who could do things, naughty things, pleasurable things, and stay perfect. Stay pure.
I’m not, but I needed that, needed to have something to blindly put myself into.
To feel safe and heal.
To not be the girl men did horrible, violating things to.
I don’t think he thinks I’m sullied, does he? But maybe he thinks I’ll break and… I don’t know.
Harley drags me into her room and slams the door.
“Spill the tea and I’m thinking it’s so hot it’s going to scald.” Then she goes quiet, takes my hand, and makes me sit with her. She hooks a curl behind her ear. “Smith told Dad you’d been mugged, so he has someone watching. Dad’s face went all chalky and he said, ‘What did you do, Smith?’ I don’t know what was said after that because I was kicked out.”
“I…”
