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He hesitates for a moment before answering. “I deserve that. But she asked me not to tell you.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Sure. That makes sense. As much sense as everything else you’ve said.” As the words flow out, I feel bitterness rise in my throat.
Fredrick takes a deep breath and pulls his hand away. The gesture is significant and unexpectedly painful. I don’t blame him for pulling away, but it still hurts. I blink back tears.
“What does this mean?” he asks, sounding tired as he pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger, his eyebrows up and pain in his features.
“It means we’re over.” I don’t know what else to say or do. He made the choice to hide something that important from me... how can I ever trust him again?
He lingers for a moment, looking like he might argue, but ultimately stands up and heads for the door. As my door closes behind him, I can't help but feel a sense of relief, mingled with agony. Maybe I’m making the wrong decision. But it’s too late now; I can’t take the words back.
Still, I feel a sense of hopelessness wash over me. How could everything have fallen apart so quickly?
I wake up to the sound of rain tapping against my window. It's soothing, in a way, but it doesn't chase away the emptiness inside me. I curl up under the covers, trying to ignore the memories that threaten to flood back.
"Hey," Emma whispers, poking her head into my room. "You okay?"
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. Emma knows better than to push me, and she slips out of the room quietly.
I close my eyes, trying to focus on something, anything else. But all I can see is Fredrick's face, twisted with pain as I told him it was over. He deserved to lose me after everything he did, but that doesn't make it any easier.
“I’m worried about you.” Alex's voice startles me, and I sit up quickly. He's leaning against the doorframe, looking tired but concerned.
“Don’t be. I’m fine,” I say. “Sorry for worrying you.”
“Yep, obviously, you're fine. That’s why you're curled up like a cooked shrimp under the covers sleeping at,” he glances at his watch, “two in the afternoon,” he says, coming over to sit on the edge of my bed. “Wanna talk about it?”
I shake my head, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “Not really.”
“Okay,” he says, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Just know that I'm here for you, okay? We all are.”
I manage a small smile, grateful for his words. It's true, we've always been there for each other, no matter what. But this time, it feels different. Like something fundamental has shifted, and I don't know how to fix it. Besides, Emma had walked away from all of us. Maybe we were never as stable as I thought.
“Thanks,” I say softly, as he gets up to leave. “For everything.”
“Of course,” he says, before slipping out of the room.
Alone again, I let out a shaky breath. It's hard to imagine a future without Fredrick in it, but at the same time, I know it's for the best. And as I close my eyes again, I let myself drift off to sleep, hoping that tomorrow will bring some clarity.
I wake with the mighty need to throw up and grab my phone before racing to the restroom. Once inside, I manage to throw up into the toilet without making a mess.
I better not be coming down with something. I assumed I was stressed yesterday. My life has gone off the rails. That’s likely to have some physical effects.
But even as I think about the stress, I feel a sense that I’m forgetting something, but I’m not sure what. My heart sinks as I try to figure out what’s bothering me so much. Maybe everything that’s happened in the last few days?
I glance down at my phone, catching the date and my heart stops beating.
There’s a knock at the door and Emma’s voice says my name. “Lila?”
I open the door as terror fills every fiber of my being.
“Oh, sorry,” she says before turning as if to leave.
“Don’t go,” I whisper.
She glances at me with wide eyes. “Are you okay?”
I shake my head, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “I'm a week late,” I whisper, and her expression changes to one of shock.
