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“What if she doesn't come home?”
“We’ll find her, Mom,” I say, suddenly angry at Emma. How could she do this to all of us? How could she be so selfish? She had to know we’d worry about her.
She says nothing, but I hear her pause, then suck in a sharp breath. “Lila, you have to find her.”
The weight of everything comes down on my shoulders, shoving them toward the ground as Fredrick wraps his arms around my belly from behind and pulls me close as if to help keep me on my feet. It feels good to have him hold me.
“We will, Mom. We will.” But the words feel hollow; I’m making promises I might not be able to keep.
“Please,” she whispers, her fear and trust painful and suffocating.
The call ends with a soft click, but her terrified voice echoes, bouncing between the walls of my skull. I look up into Fredrick's steady gaze. He nods once, a silent promise to see this through to the end with me, and I draw in a ragged breath.
“I’m ready,” I say, even though I feel small and helpless. I have a sister to find, and a mother I promised to bring her home to.
Fredrick leads me toward his car, his hand still a steady presence, guiding me through the cold night air.
“Texting means she can be reached,” I say more to myself than to him. Her phone isn’t off. Too bad we can’t track it like cops do in true crime shows. We don’t want this to be a true crime show.
“Exactly,” Fredrick says, his gaze scanning the street as if he hopes he’ll see her right here, right now.
I nod, wrapping my arms around myself as a cold I can’t quite shake settles into my bones. Streetlamps cast long shadows on the pavement, and for a moment, I imagine Emma walking among them, just out of sight.
Chapter Nine
Fredrick
The first light of dawn filters through the windshield, casting a soft glow on Lila's exhausted face.
Her black hair accentuates her pale skin, and her sky-blue eyes keep unfocusing as her lids drift shut. As she struggles to stay awake, I continue looking for Emma. Every few moments, she jerks awake, her fear thick in the air like the scent of rain before a storm.
“Lila,” I say, glancing at her. “Let May run the shop today. You need sleep.”
Her eyes open wide, a haunted look in them as she sits up straighter in the passenger seat. “I can’t,” she whispers. There’s a quiet desperation in her voice that leaves me aching for her.
Lila-” I say, biting back the rest of the sentence. I have no doubt that like me, Lila is considering that Emma doesn't want to be found. The words don’t need to be said aloud. There’s no reason to hurt her more by voicing that Emma might have chosen disappearance over her family.
“Please,” I say, “just for today.” I want her to take care of herself in case we’re in this search for the long haul.
She shifts, adjusting the seat belt to her shoulder, sleep thick in her eyes. “I can’t,” she says with more force. Only a few vehicles pass us, and the sidewalks are empty, save one runner with a big shepherd dog of some kind. The world might as well still be asleep, but the silence screams louder than any crowd.
“Okay,” I say softly. “Let me get you back there.” I turn the car around, heading for our smaller town and her flower shop.
She drifts off to sleep on the drive, and I let her grab those few, precious moments of peace. In all the ways I expected this visit to go, this possibility hadn’t even entered my atmosphere.
I go over my plan as I drive in silence, watching the world wake up but still feeling as if everything is standing still.
When I pull up in front of her flower shop, I reach over and gently wake her with a hand on her shoulder. “We made it back.”
She sits up, blinking the sleep out of her eyes. Her expression is thankful as she turns to me. “Promise me you'll keep looking?” She speaks in a low voice, as if not feeling she has the right to ask such a big favor.
“I promise,” I say. There is nothing else to say, and my heart aches as I watch her steel herself for the day ahead.
Thank you,” she says, opening the door and standing on the sidewalk.
I watch her make her way to the door with her head down, pulling the keys out of her purse. Her shoulders droop as if the weight of the world is on them, a burden I wish I could lighten for her.
She turns and offers me a little wave before disappearing into the bloom-filled sanctuary. I can only hope that the space offers her some escape today so she’s not tormented by fear. No words can ease her pain, but I plan to try to fix things. I’ll keep my promise and keep looking for Emma.
