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I was going to look around for Vicki, but we were interrupted by Mom joining us. “Here you go,” she said to Tina, handing her a glass of white wine. She smiled at her boss, then turned to me. “Julie, this party is wonderful. You did an amazing job.”
She put an arm around my shoulders and gave me a brisk, hard side hug. This was third-glass-of-wine Mom for sure, but I didn’t mind. “It wasn’t all me,” I admitted. “Finn helped.”
“Did he? That’s probably because the bachelor party is so boring.” Mom rolled her eyes. “But that was kind of him. He’s a sweet boy. I’m glad you two are getting along.”
I moved my gaze out to the water so I wouldn’t give away exactly how I was getting along with that “sweet boy.” My knees had ached the next day.
I could have sworn I felt Tina’s knowing gaze on me, like she had psychic powers.
“I wish Finn would find someone, too,” Mom said, oblivious. “He should have a wife and kids. He’s been through so much.” She glanced at me and bit her lips, editing herself.
“It’s okay,” I said. “I know about his dad dying and the brain surgery. He told me about it.”
“He told you?” Mom was surprised. “Well, that’s nice. Maybe he’s healing from it. We were under strict instructions not to say anything to anyone, probably because he didn’t want any publicity leaking. But it was hard. I was so worried. He almost died.”
I went still. Finn hadn’t put it to me that way. He’d only said— “It was risky surgery,” I said.
“Oh, more than that.” Mom sipped her wine, relieved that she could talk about it. “The tumor was big when they operated, and he lost so much blood on the operating table that they had to transfuse him. He did physiotherapy for months afterward because he had balance and coordination problems, but I think most of that went away. And now he’s been having scans—I think they think something might be wrong again. I hope everything is okay.”
I was going cold, my breath trying to halt. Scans? Finn was having scans?
I remembered the stack of papers and mail on his kitchen counter, the paper planner I’d seen. I hadn’t snooped through it. If I had, I would have seen doctor appointments, physio appointments, scan appointments. Things Finn hadn’t told me about.
But there was nothing wrong with him. I hadn’t seen any balance problems. We’d gone dancing. He’d danced like exactly what he was—a man who has had dancing training since he was a kid and is naturally gifted besides. He had never stumbled or slowed down.
If there was something wrong with him, wouldn’t I have noticed? Or had I been too in my own head to see?
I had a lot going on, none of it good, he’d said.
He’d had headaches, he told me. It was taken care of. Like it was a trip to the grocery store.
He had almost died.
Tina must have noticed that I was frozen in shock, because she dipped into the conversation as if it was natural. “I haven’t met Finn yet. I assume I’ll meet him tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it. I’ve never met a pop star before.” She turned to Mom. “I’m sure he’s just fine, Josie.”
“I worry,” Mom said to her.
Tina nodded. “Yes, you do. But everyone is safe, happy, and healthy, so for tonight and tomorrow, you’re going to stop.”
“Right. Yes.” Mom looked at her, seemed reassured, and nodded. “No worrying.” She turned to me and smiled. “Right, honey?”
“Right,” I said from numb lips.
“Don’t be nervous.” Mom grabbed my hand, which was probably ice cold, and squeezed it. The first drops of rain hit my skin. “It’s just a wedding. The dress looks beautiful on you. Everything is going to be just fine.”
TWENTY-SEVEN
Finn
She came to my room after midnight, when I was in bed, half asleep. I hadn’t thought that seeing a movie would be so tiring, but three hours of Oppenheimer made me feel like an old man.
She didn’t text or call. She just pounded on my door, and by the third knock I was on my feet because I knew exactly who it was.
“I left you a key card at the front desk. You didn’t have to knock,” I said when I opened the door, my joy at the sight of her blooming in my veins. She was still wearing the floral skirt and T-shirt she’d worn to the bachelorette party, her white Keds on her feet. She was damp from the drizzle outside. But instead of greeting me, Juliet pushed past me into the penthouse room, a human storm cloud.
I thought her mood was because something had gone wrong at the party besides the rain, but she said, “Scans? You got scans done this week? Because you’ve been having headaches?”
“Oh,” I said, drawing up short. “That.”
