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I smiled at her. “I was just mad. That isn’t the same thing.”
She gave me a knowing look. “And you’re not mad anymore?”
“Oh, I’m mad. But being mad looks different in your thirties.”
“Wisdom,” she said, and we both laughed.
I realized we had wandered outside. I hadn’t been paying attention to where we were going.
“I don’t know,” Nicole said. “You seem like a rock star to me.”
“You wouldn’t recognize me,” I told her. “I’m the maid of honor at my sister’s wedding. I had to go to a dress fitting.”
That made her laugh so hard she stopped walking. She had to hold her cup steady so she wouldn’t spill it.
“Everyone finds that funny for some reason,” I said, deadpan.
Nicole straightened and took a breath. “Wait. Is your sister marrying that guy she was dating back then? Finn Wiley’s brother?”
I hid the pulse of happiness that warmed me at the mention of Finn. At least I hadn’t been the one to bring him up, which would have been pathetic of me. “Yes, him. They have two kids now. And Finn is the best man at the wedding.”
“Fuck yes,” Nicole said. “Tell me he’s hot and single.”
“He’s both.”
“I knew it!” She pointed at me, then motioned up and down, from my feet to my head. “Jules, you slut. You’re doing Finn Wiley. You have to be. I knew you had an orgasm glow.”
“How can you tell that?” I gasped. “You haven’t seen me in years!”
“Oh, please. I know what you look like when you’re getting laid. But even then, you never looked like this.” She scrutinized me again. “Nope, this is different than your usual sluttiness.”
“This is my usual sluttiness,” I argued, and a man walking by did a double take.
“Definitely not.” Nicole was confident. “This is better. You’re working sex magic on him. I’ll bet my life savings he has heart eyes right now.”
My pulse pounded. I hadn’t seen Finn since our weekend. I hadn’t offered to visit him. I hadn’t invited him to the shows. It had felt too terrifying to do those things, too raw. I wasn’t a relationship girl. I needed breathing room.
But I missed him every fucking day. I texted him like a groupie, and I couldn’t even find it in myself to be ashamed. I was this close to begging him for a naked picture to keep me going, even though I could get in my car and go see the real thing. He was coming to the show tonight, which I couldn’t think about or I’d get distracted.
The sex magic was all Finn, not me.
Nicole didn’t think the idea of me being with Finn was outrageous, or impossible, or something to hide. She assumed that the only rational thing for me to do was get Finn into bed posthaste, which I basically had. She also assumed he would say yes.
“Nicole, we used to be in a punk band,” I said. “You did not just reference an emoji in this conversation.”
“Oh, shit,” she said, and then we were laughing again. When we caught our breath, she said, “Okay, no more boy talk. Tell me more about this wedding. I need to know.”
“It’s the worst,” I complained. “Vicki thinks I’m going to fail, but she still wants me to be the maid of honor for some reason. The whole thing has blown up bigger than it was supposed to be, and I have no money. I can’t just flake, because Vicki will never speak to me again and Mom will be mad. I’m supposed to organize the bachelorette party, and it has to be respectable, because Mom is coming, and she invited her boss.” I grabbed her arm. “Wait. Have you ever organized a bachelorette party? Help me.”
“Jules, I’ve never even been to a bachelorette party. No one in their right mind invites me to those things.”
I sighed and dropped my hand.
A thoughtful look crossed her face. “Wait, though. I think…I might have an idea.”
“No strippers,” I said. “No dive bars. I need something that’s decent but doesn’t cost any money.”
My bandmate thought it through, and then she smiled.
