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Chapter Two
Alexander rolled out of bed before midday—the first time he’d managed it since being forced to leave the commandos. That had to be a positive. Yeah?
He padded into the bathroom in his boxers. He’d always been a hot sleeper. Nothing had changed there…except the nightmares. Now he frequently awakened in a pool of sweat with lingering stress. Today was no different.
Though, these days, he lived in the safe civilian world and expected female company. No, not of the sexual-satisfaction variety, unfortunately. He could really do with a good fuck, a no-strings-attached session with no names and no emotional entanglements. Purely fun, a physical release.
In theory, it sounded like the perfect solution. But it had never truly hit the spot. He’d tried—and tried and tried. What would make a difference now?
Sage.
Her name popped into his head whenever he was tempted. In the last two years, he’d pushed past his short-term-gratification urges, unable to follow through. He hadn’t been in the right place, his deep-seated emotional injuries, his previous lack of fulfillment preventing him from bringing a random woman into his bed.
And even if he had, what if he woke up to her fearful screams, him pinning her down in a daze, a knife to her throat?
His knife.
His hand.
Reliving past scary-as-fuck, seemingly real events.
He couldn’t live with himself, so he’d resorted to hermit status. But Chase, his annoying, well-meaning best mate, had used his brilliant strategic words to convince him to seek help.
After a long, hot, rejuvenating shower, he threw on a fresh pair of boxers and a T-shirt, made some breakfast and logged into his laptop at the kitchen bench.
Once he’d completed the obligatory trawl through his emails and social media, he washed the dishes and moved to the couch, propping his computer on the coffee table. He should spend some time searching for work possibilities, but he didn’t know where to start.
Could Sage exorcise his demons? Assist him to discover his new life direction? And would he still harbor unresolved feelings for her? Maybe they’d meet and it would all be different. Maybe it’d reinforce that he’d finally moved on.
Hopefully it wouldn’t set him back. He’d be a fucking idiot if he refused help from a professional who specialized in treating trauma—even if she was the girl who haunted his dreams, the girl he could never forget.
He’d sworn to stay away from her for fear it would affect his friendship with Chase. And he didn’t want to be the dodgy, creepy, older guy hitting on his best friend’s younger sister.
So he’d played the I-don’t-give-a-fuck card. But he fucking had. As soon as she’d turned sixteen, she’d gone from grating little sister to drop-dead sensual woman—a full-on horny guy’s wet dream.
His anyway.
He’d tried not to rake his eyes over her, take in her sweetness, the softness of her skin, her pure, natural beauty and almost fucked that up before he departed.
Alexander closed his eyes and rested his head against the couch before a knock on the door roused him from a nap. Jetlag still plagued him, even though he’d been back a couple of weeks, probably complicated by his PTSD. He glanced at the time on his mobile phone.
Fuck. Six p.m. already. Where had his afternoon gone? He really needed to get into a routine. Racing into the bedroom, he pulled on some sweatpants and answered the door on the second knock.
Sage.
Fuck me. Her amber eyes pierced him with their potency. He had always appreciated her beauty but…wow. Frickin’ gorgeous. A stunner.
Her long black dress and high-heeled sandals enhanced her trim figure and gave off a professional-yet-approachable vibe. She didn’t wear too much make-up, either—just enough to take the shine off her skin and emphasize her enthralling, unusual eyes. Low maintenance yet sexy. Exactly what he liked.
“Hey, Alexander.”
“Alex, please.”
She glanced down as if almost embarrassed. “You’ve always been Alexander to me. It’s just…that’s how I see you, know you.”
“Whatever you’re comfortable with.” And he meant that. He didn’t want her stressed. In fact, his head and stomach pressurized with an almost crushing need to say sorry.
She met his gaze, the intensity almost flooring him. His emotions hadn’t been this stirred up by the sight of a woman since that last night, before he moved away.
