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My mother rubs her hands together. Then she starts singing. “Tonight is the nigh-h-h-h-ht…”
Oh my god—my mother is singing Two Become One by The Spice Girls and winking suggestively.
Instant trauma.
I’m just glad Inez isn’t here to witness this. When she left the house earlier, she said something about meeting up with her foster sister at a coffee shop for a few hours.
“Mom, stop being creepy.”
Grandma interjects, excitement in her eyes. “Are you talking about the pretty girl from the TV show we were watching a few weeks ago?”
“Yes, that’s the one,” Mom confirms. “But Nolan is a much better match for Inez than that actor fellow ever was.”
My grandmother nods. “Oh, yes. Nolan is much handsomer.” She throws a cursory scowl in my direction. “Although he could use a close shave. And he should iron his damn shirt for crying out loud.”
The two of them get distracted, gossiping about me right in front of my face. Grandma keeps asking questions, and Mom provides inaccurate answers and I can’t get a word in to save my life. They’re both extra loud, excitedly talking over each other.
While I appreciate them being in my corner, I also think they’re highly delusional.
“You know I’m still here right?” I ask.
“Oh, don’t interrupt, boy,” Grandma scolds, waving her arm at me like I’m the annoying one here.
These video calls always exhaust me.
When the two of them get too loud, my dad ends up ushering them out of the room, offering to make them midday cocktails.
Then it’s just Grandpa and me left on the call. “Did I ever tell you the story of how I met your grandmother?”
“Only a million times.”
The old man chuckles. “Hush, you little asshole. Because I’m about to tell it again.”
I exhale. “Fine.”
I shut up and listen, as he tells me things he’s already told me. But Grandpa is crazy about his wife. Always has been.
“Your grandma was a beautiful model. She was in all the fashion magazines back then. Even on some of the covers,” he adds with a wink. “I didn’t have a shot in hell, son. I was just another one of the many, many men who wanted her. Plus, I was broke. I didn’t have a dime to my name. Basically, there was nothing special about me.” He shakes his head.
“So, how’d you stand out in the crowd?” I ask, amused but intrigued.
“Well, your grandmother and I had always been friendly, and she would have been content to keep things that way. But I refused to settle for a life without her as my wife. So I had to pull out all the stops. Woo her. Grovel, even.”
Shit—grandpa was in the friend-zone. Just like me. And he ended up getting the girl anyway. Maybe there’s something I can learn here.
I frown. “How did you even have the nerve to go after her?”
He throws up his hands in surrender. “A real man knows when to wait for permission and when to just take what he wants. When it came to your grandmother, I wasn’t willing to wait, and losing her to someone else wasn't an option. It wasn’t about nerves for me. It was about going after someone important to me. Do you understand, son?”
“I…I think I’m starting to.”
As nervous as I am about pursuing Inez, as much as I don’t think I deserve her, I know that she is someone important to me. And I’m getting sick of her not being mine.
I don’t want to be in the fucking friend-zone.
I want to be in her bed.
I want to be in her heart. The way she’s inside of mine.
