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“No…I…” I scrub my hand down my face, feeling shitty for making Inez feel shitty. “No, you haven’t done anything wrong. None of this is your fault.”
“So what the hell is going on? Why are you treating me like crap?”
I look over at her and there’s so much pain on her face. I did that to her. And I hate it.
I senselessly hurt her, and as difficult as this is to admit, I owe her the truth at the very least. “I just…” I rake my fingers through my hair. “I guess I feel guilty.”
She tilts her head to the side. “Guilty for what?”
“For…for…” Dammit. “For wanting you when I know I shouldn’t.”
Inez pauses for a long moment. Silence fills the cabin of the car. Her face grows red with anger as she processes what I just said.
“So, you’re punishing me because you’re attracted to me. Am I reading that right?” she seethes.
Crap—when she puts it like that, I sound like the ultimate dipshit.
“It’s more complicated than that,” I say lamely. But I don’t elaborate because I can’t make sense of the tangled thoughts in my head.
“Un-complicate it for me,” she demands.
“I’m terrified of the way I feel about you,” I roar, losing my grip. “I’m terrified I’ll fuck this up. That I’ll lose control of myself. That I’ll lead you on. That I’ll hurt you.”
She grits her teeth. “Guess what, asshole? You’re hurting me right now.”
Fuck. “Inez…”
She turns away, casting her gaze out the window. “Save it, Nolan.”
How did I make such a mess of everything? Jeez-us. No wonder I’m perpetually single.
There’s another bout of silence before she speaks again. “After everything I’ve been through recently, the last thing I’m going to do is play this game with you. If we can’t be adults about this, then let’s not fucking do it. Okay? You keep your hands to yourself. I keep my hands to myself. Simple as that.”
“I’m sorry. I screwed up—”
She holds up a palm to shut me the hell up. “We want different things and that’s fine. I want a long-term commitment. And you want…whatever the hell it is you want. So no more crossing the line, Nolan. Not if it’s going to turn into this weird, awkward thing between us where we can’t even be in the same room. Let’s just stay friends, okay?”
Fuck. I know she’s being reasonable. She’s making the sensible decision.
But still, I hate this. I hate hearing her tell me that I can’t have her.
Finally, I exhale. Then I nod. “Yeah. Yeah. You’re right. Friends. Yeah.” It’s totally for the best that we keep our distance. She’s my employee, after all. My best employee.
The current state of affairs doesn’t sit right with me, though.
I glance over at Inez as we come up on a flashing red signal light. I should challenge her. I should fight for her. I should argue that the chemistry between us is worth the complications.
Instead of going to battle for her, I sit there, on mute.
She nods, but only barely. “Yeah. Okay. Fine. Just friends.”
Ouch!
I know this is the right thing to do, but still, it sucks. The woman of my dreams just friend-zoned the fuck out of me. And I deserve it.
I’ve been an asshole of epic proportions. Hell—after the way I behaved, I’m lucky to be in the friend-zone, and not completely shut out of her life.
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