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45
INEZ
It’s officially my last full day in Starlight Falls.
Tomorrow, I board a train and head off into the unknown. I’m nervous about my audition, nervous about the future, but more than anything, I’m losing my mind over what happens next for Nolan and Stella.
With Lilian back in the picture, I have no idea where things stand. And I can tell that Nolan doesn’t know either.
Neither of us slept well last night. He spent hours tossing and turning. I mostly stared at the dark wall while my thoughts ran wild.
My heart is sore and heavy. I want to fix it. I want to wave a magic wand and make all the confusion go away.
But who am I to kick up dust in Nolan’s life when I’m on my way out of town? Who am I to make any demands or ultimatums when my future plans are so unsure?
I know how Nolan feels about his ex-wife—or at least I know what he told me last night—but that’s a sticky area that I can’t insert myself in the middle of.
As a former foster child, there is nothing I would have wanted more than a home with both of my parents under the same roof. If I deprive Stella of that, she is going to grow up, hating me for not giving her family a chance. I could never live with myself if I were the obstacle that stood in the way of a family being together. Of a mother and child being together.
That’s a decision Nolan has to make for himself, with a clear head, without me standing in the way. I just hope that he makes the right choice for himself and Stella. They deserve to be happy now. Lilian has hurt them enough.
With today being Sunday, Nolan and Stella invited me on their weekly father-daughter excursion. But I turned down their invitation this time. I don’t think I’m strong enough to spend the day with them without breaking down in ugly, snotty tears.
Losing them tomorrow is going to wreck me. But the thought of leaving them to Lilian is absolutely agonizing.
After Nolan and Stella head out for the ceramics workshop they’re doing today, I realize that I need a pick me up. I need to feel better about all the changes on the horizon.
So I head to my happy place. I weave my way through the Starlight Falls farmer’s market until I get to Rainbow’s booth.
As I approach, she swivels around from where she’s unpacking a large box of jars and gasps loudly. “Look who it is! What brings you by today, moonbeam? Don’t you have an audition coming up?”
I laugh. “I really didn’t tell that many people about the audition, but I guess word travels quickly here in Starlight Falls.”
Rainbow chuckles. “Daphne, Karli and the girls are ridiculously excited for you. They’re your big cheerleaders around town.”
There’s a hard throb in my chest. “I do love having their support.” It’s a refreshing change for my life. Something I didn’t even know I needed. Yet another something I’m leaving behind.
For the first time in my life, I have a group of genuine friends. And now I have to walk away from them.
“So when is the audition?” Rainbow asks.
“I leave tomorrow actually,” I tell her, wearing a grin to hide my pain. “Which is why I’m in desperate need of something nutritious. I need to be on my A-game.”
She smiles knowingly. “Oh, this week’s special is just the thing for you, sweetie. As long as you’re open to something a little different in your salad, I’ll make sure you are in tiptop shape for your big moment tomorrow.”
“Well, I’m down to try anything you whip up,” I say with a laugh.
Rainbow gets to work on the salad. A moment later, she pulls up a stool for me and sets a compostable container into my hands. “Grilled peach, rice and arugula salad. I snuck some kale and walnuts and pumpkin seeds in there to give you an extra mental boost for later. Though I know you won’t really need it.” She lowers her voice. “And it should help boost your mood, too.”
“My mood?” I blink.
She smiles kindly. “I know ‘things’, moonbeam. Even things you don’t want to admit out loud.”
Shit—and here I was, thinking I was doing a good job of masking my breaking heart with my wide smiles and my surface-level jokes.
“Like always, I’m here if you need to talk.” Rainbow gives my shoulder a squeeze and turns back to unpacking her display of pickles.
Bamboo fork in hand, I dive right in with a contented moan and for a moment, this yummy salad is enough to distract me from my problems.
