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‘I’m sure that would be great for your reputation,’ I tease, as my heart rate returns to its normal beat, my tears drying.
He smiles too, so softly and sweetly that it makes me hyper-aware of how close we are. Our knees brushing, hands joined, hearts beating like one.
‘The damage would be worth it,’ he whispers.
My heart threatens to explode in my chest, my mind whirling with questions about what this all means. If it means anything at all. I try to focus on concrete things we need answers for. ‘How are we going to recover from this? The play, your reputation? All of it?’
Zayan doesn’t look worried. ‘Lacey and I talked it over. We’re going to say you were signing an NDA. It’s common for celebrity relationships, and it will take the brunt off you. You’re not going to respond; we won’t allow people to misconstrue your words. It’s best to ignore the hate and focus on moving forward. As for the play, no one is boycotting it as long as I’m still there. Which I will be. We’ll need to do some more promo in the next TikTok Live to recover from this, but we will be fine, Farah.’
‘But wouldn’t it just be easier if you left?’ I say, hating every word coming from my mouth – but it wouldn’t be fair not to offer Zayan the chance to escape unscathed. He’s an established actor. One of us should get something out of our deal. ‘Your audition for the movie –’
‘Is fine,’ Zayan stresses. ‘No one is kicking me out of Hollywood over this, Farah. And even if they were, I wouldn’t leave you.’
‘Because we’re friends?’ I ask quietly, though I’m sure he must hear my heart raging once again against my ribcage.
He hesitates. It’s a split-second thing. A moment, and then it’s over.
‘Yeah,’ he agrees, and my hope dips in disappointment. ‘Because we’re friends.’
@ZayanAmin: Any comments made against @FarahSheikh are entirely condemned by me, my team and those closest to me. That contract was an NDA that I asked Farah to sign, and she graciously accepted.
@ZayanAmin: Farah is neither your punching bag nor your target. You are not my fan if you insult someone I care deeply about. And Farah is incredibly important to me. So learn to spread kindness, and not to voice your every errant thought – no one wants to hear them.
@TheRelationshipGuru: OK … so our questions were answered about what that contract was, but is anyone still feeling off about it? Who makes someone sign an NDA? Is Farah not trustworthy? Is Zayan even into her, or is he afraid of her? IDK, this all just screams SKETCHY to me.
Posted: 12 November 2021
@TheLSDCATS: With all the drama that’s been unfolding of late, we feel it’s important to remind everyone that ‘all the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
There is only one dressing room in the Limelight Theatre, and when the entire cast tries to squeeze in there, it can feel like complete chaos enclosed in one space. But tonight, it’s just Nur, Anushka, Gibitah, and me – standing on a short stool while Nur adds her finishing touches to my outfit.
‘Every single comment on the TikTok Live is about what Zayan tweeted yesterday. People have switched up so fast ever since he showed you support,’ Nur whispers as she presses one more pin into my outfit. ‘Some people are still a little shady. Talking about things like whether your relationship is real or not. The LSDCATS’ tweet didn’t help. But, on a positive note, there’s less focus on the contract and more excitement about whether you guys will show up at the Soho Gala together tonight.’
‘Ouch, Nur,’ I complain as she pricks me with a pin near my hip bone. I’m mostly regretting asking for help with my gala outfit. ‘Yeah, I saw those comments. There were only a few, but still – the gala should help. Though Lacey sprang it on us last minute.’
Incredibly last minute. Hysterically breaking down in Zayan’s arms led to me crashing into my bed the moment I got home, much to Amal and Maha’s concern. They’d seen the video taken at the library and had been worried. But they let me sleep. I was rudely awakened by Zayan’s 3 a.m. call, telling me all about this event Lacey wanted us to go to – to help the publicity dip, and because the director of the movie Zayan auditioned for will be there.
In the beginning I was nervous to agree and was going to put off going altogether. I thought lying low was the best thing to do. The play is less than three weeks away now, and I’m already worried that I’m going to let everyone down. The support online is fickle – some people hate me; others love me because of Zayan. I didn’t want to draw any more attention to myself by going to the gala, but Zayan convinced me otherwise.
‘But what if people –’ I began before he cut me off.
‘Forget what other people think, Farah. It’s the Soho Gala. I don’t want to go with anyone else but you.’
I paused. ‘It would be hard to bring a new date up to speed.’
‘That’s not …’ He sighed, cutting himself off this time. ‘There’ll be free food, the chance to meet industry officials, and I promise you, you won’t face any more drama tonight.’
It was probably the combination of his well-thought-out offer and persuasive tone, but by the end of the call I was drafting a text to Nur, asking for fashion advice. Hence today’s pinpricking outfit fitting.
‘It’s sweet that he stood up for you,’ Anushka adds, joining the conversation.
‘I still think Farah should’ve said something herself,’ Gibitah chimes in quietly before I can say anything.
We share a look in the mirror. Her gaze is innocent, but I know better. Last night, she called repeatedly once I got home, and tried to talk to me about what happened in the library. But I shut it down, telling her I didn’t want to talk about it – the same thing I said to Amal, Maha, Owais and The Tragedies. I know Zayan said I should, but I’m not ready for all my friendships to crash and burn in one go.
Gibitah dropped it, but that didn’t stop her from hounding me about staying silent, even though that was Lacey’s request. She thought I should’ve said something about the contract, that I should’ve fought against the narrative the media were trying to create about me.
