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“Abuela,” I groaned.
“Eden Leah Perez.” The warning was clear.
I swallowed hard and sat up straight, like she was in the car with me with her chancleta in hand. “I’m sorry, Abuela.”
“You’re grown now, so I can’t tell you what you can and can’t do but you will not lie to me.”
“Yes, Abuela.” It was a rookie mistake. My lies were either better or I worked around them knowing she was so good at catching me in the thick of them. This anxiety was really messing with me.
“Now… what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
The silence in my car was deafening.
“Eden.”
That was strike two. “I’m just stressed, Abuela.”
“About?”
Abuela and Gran were my confidants. There was a time in my life — before the girls — when I told them everything. Which meant they knew when something was up. A sigh left me before I pulled my bottom lip in my teeth and tried to work up an explanation. My car inched up the ON ramp and I was surrounded by high-rise buildings and cars. It was a soothing sight in a weird way. Like being hugged until all the stress left my body, even though it was a little too tight and didn’t quite fit.
“There is a wolf around my place. It’s making me nervous.” Only the wolf was a demon and he was also my husband.
“A wolf?” The surprise was clear in her voice as she spoke to me in Spanish. She muttered something that sounded like a prayer under her breath. “I don’t like you all the way out there by yourself, Eden. What if something happens to you?”
That was why I was so freaking anxious. What if something happened to me? When would people even find out? I mean… if I didn’t show up for a few months… maybe? Working from home had its perks but made it hard for people to notice if I went missing.
I shook my head at the thought. The girls would notice right away. Of course, they would. Especially after our weekend from hell but even without it, after a day of not hearing from me, they would come storming my house.
“I think I’m going to call animal services when I get home and see what they suggest I do.”
“Out there is their house. It’s why I don’t understand why you had to move all the way out there. To the house of cows and wolves.”
My eyes rolled as the blinking lights of tow trucks came into view on the shoulder. Whatever accident happened was only partially responsible for the traffic. Between 3:30 PM and 6:00 PM traffic was traffic, regardless of the day.
“Abuela… I don’t live in a town of cows and wolves.”
“Oh, right. There are horses.”
Laughter escaped me before I could help myself. There were quite a bit of horses.
“Maybe Gran and I could stay with you for a bit. It will be like when you were young. Dinner and cards. Music and laughter. You could use some softness in your life, Eden. You work so hard to build your life, send money to your Gran and me and…”
My mother.
The taste in my mouth soured as I forced a smile.
“Baby… take a break.”
If only life were that easy.
“I will in a few weeks. Then you two can come stay with me as long as you like.”
Silence brewed inside my car and I could picture Abuela so clearly in my head. She was a tiny woman, but she had a presence strong enough to knock the largest man off his feet with a single stare. Her skin was warm, brown, and weathered in a way that always made me smile. She made sure to smile every smile and frown every frown with all she was, wanting to see those lines later and tie them up with the ribbons of her memories. Her hair was short, not quite a pixie cut but a style that seemed popular with the other women her age, though it hadn’t gone completely white like most. It still had some pepper in that salt that brushed over the tops of ears that always wore thick gold hoop earrings, ones she had worn since she was a girl. I knew she had the beautiful shawl she always wore around her shoulders with its vibrant threads over her simple white t-shirt and her beige slacks. She would be standing in her kitchen because that’s where she always stood to chastise me or when we had to have deep conversations. Her hip would be leaned against the counter as she held the phone, her other hand on her tea.
The image my mind summoned without urging made me smile.
