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“The answer is no.”
“Why, doll face?” Troy Donaldson is single-handedly what gives men a bad rap. Based on how tight he wears his suits so that they show off the obviously long hours he spends at the gym, I’m sure he’s one of those creepy lurkers that sit in front of the weightlifting mirror watching themselves as much as they are watching the room behind them just waiting for their next pounce. “Is it because of that boyfriend of yours?”
She has a boyfriend, and he knows about it? What a louse!
I’m about to make my way out to the reception area and put a stop to the cringeworthy exchange when I run into Nancy. Her eyes are wide and knowing. “Aren’t you supposed to be shadowing Troy and meeting some of our clients today?”
“I was just on my way out.” I make the boy scout symbol with my hand. I’m not sure why; I was never a scout.
“Amelia, since you are here,” Nancy interrupts whatever degrading remark Troy was saying next, “Let me introduce you to our new associate. This i–”
“Mark!” The voice I knew I recognized. The woman who has haunted my dreams for the last three years.
“Hey, Millie.” It’s suddenly hard to speak. I clear my throat. “It’s good to see you.”
My voice is an octave higher than normal. I clear my throat again. It’s not like I didn’t know she lived around here, but I certainly wasn’t expecting her to be in my new office.
“I heard that you were back in town!” She comes over and pulls me into a hug. I feel heat at every contact point. “Wait,” she pulls back, “you’re the new guy in the office that has all the women in the building all hot and bothered?”
I feel heat rising up my neck at her words. People are talking about me? That’s the last thing I want. That is part of what was so appealing about working in such a small office. Less gossip.
“You two know each other?” Troy breaks in.
“Yes,” we say in unison, “we… ”
After we look at each other, I motion for her to continue. No need for us to duet the whole answer.
“We grew up together. Our moms are old friends, and we are best friends with each other’s brothers.” That was a much clearer way of explaining it than I ever could. I’m still in shock that Millie is here. Millie Jacobson. My Millie. Not that she is mine. I clear my throat again.
“Oh, how wonderful!” exclaims Nancy, finding way more humor in this whole situation than is necessary.
Grabbing what I am assuming is the contract she came for, Millie steps forward and takes an envelope from Troy’s hand, and I can’t help but smirk as I see the stupefied look on his face.
“Thanks again for being so quick on this, Troy.” She points to the envelope. “Nancy, let me know how you and Martin like that restaurant. You know how Amara is about food, and she says that it is worth the drive. Mark,” her eyes barrel into me, “we will have to do lunch sometime and catch up!”
I just nod like an idiot.
Chapter 5
Mark
Ben’s Wedding Three years ago
Taking one last look in the mirror before heading to the patio for wedding party photos, I can’t help but notice the hollow look in my eyes. There are dark circles forming, and I just look like I feel downtrodden. It’s not a complete lie; I’m physically and emotionally spent. This is supposed to be a happy time. I mean, my best friend found the love of his life (his words, not mine). And yet all I can do is think about all that is missing from my life. How selfish am I? I can’t even give Ben one day where I’m not thinking about how I feel versus sharing in his joy.
Seeing him so happy and absorbed in Belinda just makes me realize that I have never felt anything close to that for Natasha, my girlfriend of almost two years, or anyone. Ever. And maybe I never will. Maybe Natasha showing her true colors is just what I need to get it into my head that I’m not made for relationships. I tried. I clearly failed. It’s like baseball: it had its run, but now it’s not part of my life. That’s what this is, just another passing phase of my life.
“Mark!” I jerk at the sound of my name being called. “There you are! My mom has been looking all over for you!”
I look over at Millie walking towards me.
I clear my throat. “Sorry.” I was I was just overthinking everything that I have ever failed at. “I must have lost track of time.”
Concern shadows her face. “Are you okay?”
I stand up straighter. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know.” She studies me closer. “You just seem off.”
