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“I’m so sorry, Andy,” I said. “I’ll understand if you’re upset with me. Or Dorian.”
He considered it for a moment, then shook his head. “Actually, it’s perfectly fine.”
I gave a start. “It is?”
“I mean, sure. I appreciate the transparency, but you and I are not exclusive. Quite the opposite, even, since you are physical friends with Ryan.”
Physical friends. A softer way of saying fuck-buddies. I would have made a joke about it, but now didn’t seem like the best time.
“So you’re not jealous?” I asked. “I was wondering how this entire arrangement would work. If you want a serious relationship, can it really begin while I’m sleeping with one of your friends?”
He nodded along before speaking. “I have given this some thought. There is a tiny spark of jealousy, I must admit, but it is barely noticeable. Searching my own emotions, I think it is because I am so close with Ryan. We are coworkers, friends, and roommates. Sharing you with him sort of feels right.”
Suddenly he blushed even more deeply than when I complimented him. “Um, that is to say, you’re not a power tool to be handed back and forth. Sharing was probably the wrong word…”
I laughed and waved it off. “It’s fine. Sharing is exactly what you four are doing, in different ways. But if you’re fine with it being Ryan, someone you are very close with… How do you feel about Dorian?”
“I am not sure,” he admitted, cocking his head to the side. “How do you feel about Dorian? Was the kiss indicative of something deeper?”
I sighed and said, “I don’t know.”
“I appreciate your honesty,” Andy said. “It does not bother me. At least, I do not think it does. Maybe that will change as it sinks in.”
“If it does, let me know,” I quickly said. “I treasure what you and I have, and am excited for the future. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.”
He smiled widely. “I am happy to hear that. I am excited about the future too, Nadia.”
We hugged, and then laid back down on the blanket to resume reading. My eyes moved over the digital ink without consuming the words.
Andy wasn’t quite sure how he felt. Which was totally understandable. But I had to be honest with myself: I was developing feelings for Dorian, and I still had a big old crush on Braden. Andy might be fine sharing me with Ryan, but that was just a physical relationship. Would he be fine sharing me with the others in a more emotional, intimate way?
And even if he was, how would I juggle all four? Surely I couldn’t keep this up with all of them, even in the best of circumstances. A girl eventually had to choose one guy. Right?
Andy put his Kindle away and stretched out. “I could use a little nap before rehearsal tonight.”
I tossed mine aside and said, “That sounds delightful. Snuggle with me.”
I rolled over, and Andy twisted around to match the shape of my body. He kept a respectable distance though, so I snuggled back against him until my ass was against his crotch and his chest was touching my back.
“Mmm, there we go.”
I sighed underneath the blanket. The clouds were covering the sun, but Andy’s warm body countered the sudden chill. He draped an arm over my body protectively. It was heaven.
“Wake me in an hour.”
“You got it,” he said into the back of my hair.
Before I could drift to sleep, I felt his erection against my ass.
Just a hard little poke of pressure, warm against the fabric of my skirt and growing larger. I felt Andy freeze against me, tensing as if wondering what I would do. If it was weird or not. It must be awfully embarrassing for guys to have an overt body part they couldn’t control. The nice thing about being a woman—one of the few things—was that nobody could tell if I was wet.
To let him know it wasn’t weird, I pushed my ass back against it ever so slightly.
He relaxed—well, all of him except that part. His arm tightened around my body, holding me close underneath the blanket.
I could have slept for hours like this. But I remembered what Dorian had said about public sex, and how the story had turned me on so much…
I opened my eyes. Ahead of me was flat grass, and the people who had been throwing a frisbee at the edge of our little area were gone. We were alone.
