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Braden snickered. “That’s the most pleasant thing I’ve ever heard someone say about Ryan.”
“We’ll see how things go,” I said diplomatically. “I’ve only been here a few days.”
“Well, we’ve loved having you.” Ice shifted as he gestured with his drink. “I hope you feel at home here.”
I felt a tingle of excitement run up my spine. He’s loved having me here. The way I felt was a clear reminder that I still had a big old crush on Braden. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t decide if he had any feelings for me, or if our night together was just physical.
Fortunately, I’d had several beers tonight and the final nightcap pushed away the last bit of modesty I had.
“Hey,” I said. “What’s up with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“We slept together,” I said bluntly. “That night when you guys first suggested this whole arrangement. But since then, you’ve kept me at arm’s length. Was it just to prove to me that you were straight? Or…”
Or do you have actual feelings for me? Like I do for you?
He studied the grain of the table. The hesitation made my stomach sink. That was answer enough.
“I don’t know,” he said. “It’s complicated.”
“If you thought it was a mistake…”
“No!” he blurted out. His eyes met mine for an instant, then lowered back to the table. “It wasn’t a mistake. But I don’t… I don’t know what I want, Nadia.”
“Okay,” I said in a small voice. “I understand.”
Braden downed the rest of his drink and gave one firm nod. “I’ll send you my notes about our relationship history so you can study. We’ll probably have dinner with my parents in a week or two, after they get back from vacation in the Caribbean.”
“Oh, Caribbean. Fancy.”
“Yeah, they like to travel.”
I mimicked a snobby rich woman’s voice. “Oh my, they simply must summer in the Hamptons. The next time they want to visit, have them call my estate and we can arrange rooms for them. The east wing is under renovation right now—the damned historical society butting their nose in again!—but the west wing will have to suffice.”
Braden had to cover his mouth. “Yeah, uh… They actually do spend a week every summer on the south fork.”
I kept my snotty accent and said, “But of course they do! We prestigious families simply cannot go longer than three months without visiting the Hamptons. One must wash away the filth and grime of the city.”
Braden doubled over laughing, which knocked me out of my act until I was laughing just as hard. But his smile didn’t last much longer. “Okay, well, let me know if you need anything else, or want to make changes to what I’ve written.”
It was a pretty overt end to our discussion. “Yeah, okay. Night.”
“Night.”
His voice echoed in my head as I went upstairs: I don’t know what I want.
I wasn’t sure how to take that kind of answer. It wasn’t an outright rejection, but there wasn’t much good about it, either. If it were a friend who was telling me about it, I would have told them that he enjoyed the sex but didn’t really like them as more than a friend. That was the vibe I was receiving from him. But being honest with myself was a lot harder.
I was a jumble of emotions. I still had the emotional high of a wonderful first date with Andy, but now it was mixed with disappointment. And talking about that passionate night with Braden left me hungry for more than just the kiss Andy and I had shared…
When I reached the top floor of the townhouse, I saw that Ryan’s door was cracked open and a dim light was on. I paused outside our two doors, wondering…
“That’s real fuckin’ creepy, you know that?” Ryan said from within. “You need something, just come on in. No need to be weird about it.”
I opened the door and stepped inside. Ryan was in bed with his back propped up against the headboard, reading a magazine. He was wearing boxers and a black tank-top, and had one arm flexed up behind his head like a pillow.
“I bet you’re relieved to keep your job today.”
