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I patted him on the back. “If you can take care of our sorry asses, I guarantee you’ll be able to take care of the kid just fine.”
Liam chuckled. It was a rare sound. “And Max will have three uncles to look out for him should you fail miserably.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Kris replied flatly.
“Come on,” Charlie said. “Let’s wrap up here and take the duchess back to the penthouse. The longer she’s away from home base, the higher the chance of someone nabbing her.”
We didn’t say his name, but we all knew to whom Charlie was referring. When one of our own went rogue, it felt worse than a stab wound to the chest. It was just too hard to say his name now, his imminent threat looming over us like an ax. We weren’t superstitious ? I’d gladly walk into a dark bathroom and shout ‘Bloody Mary’ three times in front of the mirror but saying Terrance’s name aloud felt like we were pushing our luck.
My throat burned at the thought of having to face him. I reached for my flask and took a sip, stopping mid-swig when cool water coated my tongue. I couldn’t help but smile a little as I put it back in my pocket.
* * *
I had a nightmare.It was the same one I always had, only minor details changing here and there. We were in a southern region of Afghanistan, camped out amongst the sandy cliffs, the sun beating down on us mercilessly. All we could hear was the sound of the dry wind and the creak and ache of our own bones as we huddled together under our small shelter.
“You can’t go alone,” Kris snapped at Terrance. He’d been getting on our nerves more than usual, but I chalked it up to dehydration and the fact that we were still waiting on our target to show up.
“Fuck do you care?” Terrance hissed back.
“As team leader, I’m ordering you to stand down—”
“Team leader? You’re leader of jack shit—”
“Guys,”Charlie attempted to get between them.“Let’s not turn on each other. Let’s just take a deep breath and—”
The sound of gunfire began hailing down on us. Shouts and orders and frantic commands to duck for cover. Was it an ambush? How did we not see the enemy coming? My confusion sent my heart rate through the roof, cortisol levels off the charts. We weren’t prepared for this.
Liam pushed me out of the way of a headshot but wound up taking the bullet to his chest instead. There was blood everywhere, quickly baking to his skin and uniform in the hot sun. More shouting. My pulse hammered in my ear. I couldn’t see anything because we’d kicked up so much dust. I lost track of Kris and Charlie. Terrance was nowhere to be found.
“Guys!”I shouted, keeping pressure on Liam’s chest. My voice was hoarse. Nobody answered.“Guys, where—”
A tall shadow loomed over me, raising the tip of an AK-47 to my head. There was no escape. I was going to die here in the middle of this wasteland. I was going to—
“Adam!”
Someone shook my shoulder hard, jolting me awake. Sam hovered over me in bed, her brows knitted together with worry.
“Fuck,” I murmured, wiping my face with my hand. I was sweaty. Or were these tears? I couldn’t tell, nor did I care. My hands were shaking, my breathing was uneven. My whole body felt weak.
“You were having a bad dream,” she said, a soft whisper. Sam brushed her fingers through my damp hair and kissed my forehead. “It’s okay. Everything’s okay, baby.”
I swallowed, unable to get rid of the lump in my throat. “I need…”
“What do you need?” she asked. “I’ll get it for you, okay?”
“No, stay in bed. I… I just need a minute.”
I slipped out of her bed, careful not to wake Liam and Charlie, who lay fast asleep on her other side. My first stop was the kitchen, aching to fix myself a drink. I’d gone almost two whole days without a drop of alcohol, and I was…
Well, I was starting to unravel.
I hadn’t realized how bad my dependence had gotten, partially because I was always able to function like nothing was wrong in the first place. But now my skin was tight, and I was hyper aware of every sound, every ache of my bones and I wanted to focus on literally anything else. A quick swig of something was all I needed. The burn down my throat would surely numb the sharp edge that was pressing itself to the base of my skull and—
“Adam?”
I looked up and found Sam standing a few feet away, dressed in my shirt and her hair a wonderful, sleepy mess. The shirt hung off her slender frame and reached just above her knees, the sleeves rolled up to just below her elbows.
“Sam…”
