AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“That’s like me with my painting. No purpose.”
Dimitri flinches like the idea of Lia saying she has no purpose makes him angry. I get the feeling we’re all hiding something around this table. Maybe, except for Ania, though it wouldn’t shock me if she had her own secrets, too.
“It could be fun,” I go on, shrugging. “Working on games. However, working onanythingas a programmer would feel like a dream. Even …”
I hesitate, and then Dimitri snaps, “Lia and Ania both know you’ve been helping Mikhail.”
Mikhail bites down, looking at his brother with terrifying eyes for a moment. It reminds me of how he looked after the torture, that wild glint of pure savagery. “She’s just being careful, brother,” Mikhail growls.
Dimitri glances at his brother, then nods. I wonder if Dimitri suspects anything. Maybe he thinks Mikhail is just being a friendly guy. Sometimes, being close to somebody makes it difficult to see what they are, like me with Dad. I hate him, and I’ve dreamed of him dying before, but it’s still a horrible, impossible-to-process mess of emotions.
“Well,Ithink you’d all make a great team,” Ania continues. “Mikhail and Mila can do the boring programming stuff. Lia, you can do all the artwork. Dimitri and I will be the voice actors!”
That gets a smile out of all of us, disrupting the awkwardness for a second.
“You’d do a great job, Ania,” Dimitri says, “but I’m not sure people want to listen to me for an entire game.”
“Well …duh.” Ania gives him a playful look. “I’d be the hero, and you’d be the villain. So you’d only pop up at the end of the level. Easy.”
“You make it sound so simple,” Dimitri replies.
“How does the game end?” she asks, turning to Mikhail. “In the game, you’re an orphan trying to escape a home, right?”
Lia swallows. The last time Mikhail described his game, I noticed Lia looking uncomfortable. Maybe she’s thinking about finding a family, too. Or perhaps she’s already found hers.
Mikhail nods. “That’s right, but I don’t know about the ending yet. I thought of having the players think they’ve escaped. Then the game starts again with a higher difficulty multiplier, and they must escape again.”
“So there’s no happy ending? Just a constant cycle of misery?” Ania narrows her eyes. “I thought games were supposed to be about escapism. That sounds way too much like real life.” She pauses and then sincerely says, “I think you should let the player escape and give them an option for the higher difficulty. They should also be able to choose a happy ending.”
“You know what?” Mikhail smiles at his sister, and I can tell it makes Ania’s day. “You’re right. I’ve been too pessimistic. I wouldn’t let myself believe life could get better, so I’ve made the game like that, but thereshouldbe a choice.”
Tingles dance all over me, spreading through my chest, warmth teasing me. I don’t have to ask if he’s speaking about more than the game. This hope is too intoxicating, too sickly, making me feel disoriented.
I try to shut down my emotions so he can’t poison my mind with all those pesky dreams of the future. A choice, but that’s exactly what I should’ve let go of when this first started: the idea that I could choose my fate. Even now, though we’re fighting back and trying to get out of the deal, I couldstillhave to marry Dimitri.
“What do you think?” Ania says, looking at me.
“Huh?” Her question jolts me from my thoughts.
“About the game? Do you think there should be a choice?Ithink it could be better if the player were given the happy option, and that’s it; there’s no chance to ruin it.”
“There’s always a way to ruin everything,” I tell her. “Even the best situations. Even when you think nothing could possibly go wrong. Even if you think you’ve found your place in the world, there’salwaysa way for something bad to happen.”
I cut off, realizing Ania and Mikhail are looking at me with pitying expressions as though they think I’m broken or messed up somehow. It’s not like I can blame them.
“Maybe that wouldn’t be a very fun game to play.”
I shrug, staring down into my drink. I can feel Mikhail’s eyes on me, staring hard, and I know there’s so much he wants to say. Looking up, I see Mikhail intensely owning me with his gaze and Dimitri doing the same with Lia. Are we as obvious as them?
After lunch, when Dimitri announces he must return to the city, Lia visibly winces. I sense that two secret worlds exist in thiscompound, and Dimitri and Lia are experiencing an adventure just for them. Or maybe I’m just projecting.
Lia goes to the second house. Ania goes into the basement dance studio, and I go to my bedroom, attempting to read a programming book. A few minutes later, the door creaks open. I sit up, a note of panic touching me, until I see Mikhail with his wild hair falling around his head. I love that savage look he has.
“I know the party’s going to be hard,” he says. “The pledge. It’ll be tough seeing your dad.”
“I’ve seen him every day for years,” I snap. “It’s fine.”
Sitting up, I fold my arms. Mikhail’s eyes flit to my chest, and his muscular body goes taut with muscle as though he’s just holding himself back. It sends those tempting tendrils of lust all over my body, but he’s right. The idea of seeing my dad is hounding me, trying to drag me back down into the flames of abuse and fear and living on the edge of a breakdown. All. The. Damn. Time.
