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“Because I told him I’d help,” Mila says, hanging her head.
“What, why?”
“Drake,” she whispers, then coughs back a sob as though just saying his name is enough to break her emotions into tiny, fragile pieces.
“We’ll get him back,” Mikhail says. “I promise.”
“Yeah, you’ve said that,” Mila snaps, “but nothing’s changed.”
Mila storms from the room, leaving me and Mikhail on our own. Mikhail sighs and runs a hand through his wild hair. “What?” he says after a pause. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
I avert my gaze, shaking my head. “Like what?”
He laughs gruffly. “What has Mila told you?”
“Nothing. Why? Whatisthere to tell?”
“Dimitri’s on his way home,” Mikhail says. “It’s been a wild night for us all, but I need to go now.”
“Yeah, Mila needs you.”
“No,” he grunts. “I’m going to talk to our friend, the tough guy kidnapper. Let’s see what he has to say.”
Mikhail leaves, fists clenched, looking similar to his brother from behind, except for the hair and the fact that Mikhail doesn’t make me ache or need him. I sit on the bed, feeling deflated after everything that’s happened.
A few minutes later, Ania appears at my door. She looks sleepy, her hair wild. “Are you okay?” she asks softly. “I heard the commotion.”
I search her for any sign that she remembers what happened: the sleepwalking and themomstuff. She sits beside me on the bed, taking my hand. It feels weirdly natural. It takes my mind to emotional places, like wondering what it would be like to have a sister and a family.
“We live in a crazy world, don’t we?” she says with a world-weary note in her voice. With the lights low, it’s easy to believe she’s much older than she is. “I’m happy to stay with you until Dimitri gets home.”
“Sure, Ania. Thanks.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I don’t want to leave you alone right now.”
I move closer to her, my body suddenly tired, as if everything has just caught up with me. The need I can’t stop feeling for Dimitri gets even deeper. I want him here, to feel his strong, muscled arms around me, to know I’m safe. Forever.
“It’s okay,” Ania whispers, which makes me realize I’m crying. I didn’t plan on letting out all this pain, but it just spills out of me. I turn and push my face against her chest, accepting her arms as she wraps them around me.
“Hush,” Ania goes on. “Everything’s going to be just fine.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
When I try to pull away from her, Ania hugs me tighter, pulling me against her. It’s like she knows I want to hide my pain, and she doesn’t want to let me.
“You can’t run from your pain forever.”
“You don’t even know why I’m crying.”
“Maybe you feel alone. Maybe you feel lost. Maybe you’re overwhelmed. It doesn’t matter. You’reallowedto cry.”
She doesn’t know how badly I need to hear that, even if I never would’ve admitted it and couldn’t admit it now.
“Thank you,” I say after a pause.
CHAPTER 17
DIMITRI
