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He trails off, leaving me to imagine. Just because he cares aboutme? Just because he’d choosemeif he had a choice? But he doesn’t go on. I feel too deflated to keep snapping at him. I made a mistake—let myself care, let myself think maybe I could have a slice of happiness.
Now, for a little while, I just want to forget, disappear into my art, the only place the world makes any sense.
“We have to be careful,” Dimitri says after a pause. “If my men see us getting too close and word gets back to Nikolai...”
“Nikolai?”
“My…” He swallows. “Mila’s father.”
“Your futurewife’sdad, you mean?”
“It would be bad,” Dimitri grunts.
I almost tell him he doesn’t need to worry. Our getting-close days are over. But I just can’t force myself to cross that line.
CHAPTER 9
DIMITRI
As the gates slowly open, I know nothing between Lia and me will ever be the same. Maybe that’s not saying a lot. We flirted in her secret painting room, took a trip, and shared some intimacy. That was it, but somehow, I’ll always look back on those days warmly. It will always separate the time when Lia could look at me without confusion from now on when confusion is all thereis.
I drive Lia toward the second house. It’s the one I would prefer to stay in with her, but I need to be careful. What if it wasn’t Nikolai behind the attack? What if it was somebody else? In that case, Nikolai still needs to believe that I’m going to marry his daughter.
“This is the guesthouse,” I tell Lia when I see her staring.
“The guestmansion, you mean,” she murmurs. “Is this where the security stays?”
“They have a place offsite,” I explain. “This is for guests. For you.”
“I guess I should say thanks?”
She looks at me with that sassiness in her eyes. I can tell it’s a shield to hide how panicked she is. Even now, as her chest rises and falls, there’s a savage part of me that wants to claim those big, juicy tits. The adrenaline from the gunfight seems to add to it.
“Sorry,” she says a moment later, reaching over and laying her hand on mine. “Without you?—”
“They never would’ve attacked you,” I tell her. “You’re right to be pissed at me. You’re right to hate me.”
“I never said Ihateyou,” she snaps.
“Lia, I need to talk with my brother. I need to make arrangements. Are you okay getting settled in yourself? If you give me the key, I can send somebody to your apartment to get your things. I can also get you anything you need—new clothes, whatever food you like, anything.”
Maybe she can tell I’m making an effort because she leans forward and softly kisses my cheek. I know I’ve ruined it when I try to claim her lips. She pulls away, looking like she wants to get as far from me as possible, and then she reaches into the zip pocket of her jacket and takes out her key.
“What should I do now, then? Just wait for you?”
“You can explore the house. There’s a game room and a library. Hell, pick any room in the house, and we’ll turn it into your studio. I want you to be comfortable.”
“So this is ahappyprison, then?” she says, folding her arms.
Sighing, I climb from the car and walk to the passenger side. She opens the door quickly and walks ahead of me, up the stairs andto the front door. She pushes it open, turning to me with a raised eyebrow when she realizes it’s unlocked.
“It’s okay,” I tell her. She looks scared, probably wondering if there are attackers hidden inside. “We rarely lock the doors in the compound.”
“Hmm,” she says, nodding. “I guess I’ll go inside then. Wait for some answers, right?”
With that, she closes the door. I massage my forehead, seeing a glimpse of the man I killed. I can’t let myself feel guilty. I meant what I told Lia. If those men had gotten through me to her, they would’ve done unspeakable things to her. I walk across the large lawn, past the tennis court, toward the main house. Ania is waiting on the porch, bobbing from foot to foot. “Who was that?” she says in her typically curious, energetic way.
“A friend,” I grunt.
