Page 53 of Unholy Tsar

“He didn’t even visit me in jail,” I whisper, my heart heavy with the memory. “He just sent a lawyer who said it would be too dangerous for him.”

“Asshole.”

“I was so upset. So angry. How could he just abandon me like that? Hell, part of me suspected he had set me up. When I was finally let out on bail a week later, we had a huge fight. I should’ve broken up with him right then and there.”

“Why didn’t you?”

I shrug, feeling a sense of shame wash over me. “I grew up in foster care, you know? Apparently, my parents abandoned me at an orphanage when I was three. That’s too old to get adopted. Couples always want cute babies, not toddlers. So, I was moved to foster care. And in foster care, nobody gives a shit about you. I never knew what love was supposed to feel like. So when he came along and treated me like I was special, I really thought it was because he cared for me. Because he loved me. Even when he started to change, I didn’t want to lose that feeling. I didn’t want to go back to being alone. So, I stayed. Stupid.”

“Stop calling yourself stupid.” Maksim gently taps the back of my head, and I smile despite how much my heart is aching. “You were the victim. He’s the one who should’ve known better.”

I hold onto his words, trying to find comfort in them.

“Things only got worse after that, though. First, he started calling me names whenever I did anything to piss him off. Then, he started getting physical. But he would always apologize right after, and his mom would come over, calling me her daughter and asking me to forgive her son.”

I can feel Maksim’s heart beating faster and harder. “They knew what you wanted to hear and used it to manipulate you.”

“Exactly. That must be why I stayed. He even proposed to me two years later, and I would’ve foolishly gone through with the marriage, too—if he hadn’t stood me up at the altar.”

My heart breaks all over again at the memory. Even knowing what I know now, it still hurts so much.

“What did his family say?”

“Well, they finally showed their true colors. There was so much screaming. All the blame was put on me. They paid for our wedding. And it was a lavish ceremony. And when he didn’t show up, they accused me of running him off. They wanted to know what I did to make their precious son abandon them on such a special day. I… I’ve blocked most of it, but I’ll never forget how his mother said that her son must’ve found out the reason my parents abandoned me. It was too much.”

“So, you ran away?”

“Yes. At the time, I just needed space to clear my head. The town I lived in was filled with memories of him. I needed an escape, so I ran off to another town. After two weeks there, I realized I never wanted to go back to him. We were done. But he must’ve had second thoughts because ever since then, someone has been following me. When I notice, I run to the next town, and then the next, and the next. That’s how I ended up in New York.”

“You think it’s him?”

“Yes. No. Maybe not him directly. He doesn’t like leaving his town's safety net, but it could be someone he’s hired. He has connections with many unsavory people from his drug smuggling business. I mean, who else could it be?’

“You haven’t seen him since you ran away two years ago?”

“Only in my nightmares.”

Instantly, I regret the little lie. I do have nightmares about him sometimes, but the truth is, I have seen him since I ran away.

The first time was a week after our supposed wedding. He somehow managed to track me down in the town I was hiding in and tried to explain himself. But the moment I saw him, I started screaming my head off. Not necessarily because I was scared or angry, but because I wanted to catch people’s attention and make a quick escape. And that’s exactly what I did. When he was distracted, I ran.

I saw him two more times after that, but I never stuck around to talk. Whatever he had to say, I didn’t want to hear it. Especially not when he seemed to be getting high off his own stash.

I shiver at the memory of just how badly he was starting to degenerate.

“You don’t have to worry about him ever again. I’ll protect you.” Maksim’s hand leaves my hair and gently rubs my back. “It’s late. You should go to sleep.”

I push away from his chest to stare up at him in pure disbelief, “What? No way. I just opened up to you and you expect me to go to sleep? Do you know how scared I am?”

His brows pinch together. “Scared? Of what? I just said I’d protect you. No one’s going to—"

“What if you use what I just told you against me? What if you—”

“I would never do that,” he cuts me off with a frown. “Hell, I’m insulted you would even think such a thing.”

“Well, then tell me something about you to even the scales. And not something mundane, either. Something you’ve never told anyone, because I’ve never told anyone else what I just told you.”

He lets out a heavy sigh and pulls me back to his chest. “Alright. Fine. Fair is fair.”