Page 143 of Sinful Lord

It’s comforting to think that I have the option to send this email at any point in time. To play both sides.

I know the second Rian reads my rambling message, he’ll come racing to find me. No border can hold my brother, no matter what Tytus thinks he heard.

That thought helps soothe me. I can play both sides too…

But then I spot the wi-fi bar in the corner of the screen. It’s empty. There’s no connection.

A knot twists in my gut. The illusion I just built for myself falters.

I couldn’t send this email even if I wanted to.

Fuck. I’m still not in control.

The realization threatens to crush me all over again. But then Rozalia slips back into my mind.

What would she do? I ask myself, over and over again like a calming mantra.

When I look down at the bed and see Tytus’ laptop, a lightbulb goes off over my head.

“Come on,” I pray, opening it up. “Shit.”

Of course, his account is password protected. Sure, Rozalia would know how to hack through that, but I’m no Rozalia. I’m about to give up when something catches my attention.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see something pop up on my laptop screen. My gaze rips towards the notification.

Allow userx367 to share wi-fi password with you?

“No fucking way…” I mumble.

Without thinking, I hit accept.

The wi-fi icon at the top of my screen buffers. I hold my breath.

When it fills to the top, I gasp with joy.

“I did it!” I blurt out, hardly believing it.

But my joy is short lived. Beneath the now-filled wi-fi icon is the message I just wrote. My brother’s email fill the address bar.

My little flash of self-therapy has turned into a jarring reality. At any moment, I could hit send. I could end this strange dream.

When I look down at the keyboard, I’m shocked to find that my index finger is already hovering over the return key. I hit that, and this will all come to an end.

But I’m not so sure I want it to end.

Shit. The thought of reaching out to my brother and sealing my fate is anything but comforting.

No matter how much Tytus confuses me, I know how much I’d miss him. I understand how much I’d miss what he promises me.

With Tytus, my future is uncertain, the possibilities are endless.

In a way, that’s a type of freedom.

But it’s also a type of cage.

How could I ever plan my next move when nothing is determined? When I’m not sure how much I can trust the man I’m sharing my life with?

At least with my family, I know I can trust them.