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A hot tear slid down my cheek, it burned as it fell off my chin onto my chest.
He squeezed his eyes shut. “Please don’t ask me anymore.”
“Do you expect to live?” I asked anyway. “Do you expect to live to see my next birthday?”
He was quiet.
“You promised.” I reminded him.
He pulled away from me. “Get some sleep.”
“Ivan!”
He stopped at the door and hung his head. “No, Bella. I don’t have that high of expectations. And I refuse to wish for more than what I’ve been given, so maybe let me hold you next time, give me at least that.”
The door shut quietly behind him.
I burst into tears over the man I hated.
I cried over the man… I was coming to love.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
“You never go to bed thinking you’ll wake up and it will be better because oftentimes, it’s so much worse than you could possibly imagine.” —King Campisi
Ivan
Most nights ended up that way, with us talking but avoiding the questions we both knew I couldn’t answer.
For the next week, at least, I had the great privilege of holding her and memorizing the sound of a voice I used to hate, only to come to the conclusion it would be the last thing I heard when I left this earth. A gift.
I held her.
She actually let me.
And things became almost unspoken, she never asked me a question she knew I wouldn’t answer, and I only answered in truth and told her when I couldn’t.
I’d like to say that my insane spending was pulling people out of the woodwork, that we knew more now that the whole tattoo thing came up, but the only lead we had on the tattoo was from years ago when the De Langes were working with the Russians.
Which only brought in more bosses, more Families, more drama, and more intense family dinners.
Exhibit A.
“Stop!” Andrei yelled at his daughter. “He’s your husband!”
Santino blinked over at Andrei. “Cheers.”
“I’m sorry. She can’t help it. She clearly has my temper.” Andrei agreed.
Phoenix sighed and poured more wine. “Like father like daughter.”
“I think that was an insult?” I offered.
All eyes fell on me.
I needed an escape.
I didn’t want to do this anymore, to hide in plain sight.
