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“So I’ll live?”
“You hate her.”
“So I’ll live,” Ivan repeated. “Correct? On your word in front of our Capo. I’ll live.”
Nixon sneered. “You’ll wish you’re dead.”
And for the second time in twenty-four hours, I witnessed Ivan whisper, “Worth it.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
“Everyone has a secret, everyone has pieces to that same secret, the hard part is getting everyone to finally show their cards. After all, we all have something we want to protect.” —King Campisi
Bella
It took him forever to get back.
Tank had been guarding the door.
And I’d been laying down in bed desperately trying to sleep without having nightmares of getting attacked.
The door to the bedroom opened. I had an early class in the morning, so I really should be sleeping and going on like everything was normal.
But he was back.
He was there.
In our room.
This sudden, massive presence, and he smelled good, though the air around him felt exhausting.
“Bad meeting?” I asked.
“Good news,” he answered. “I might not die if I touch you, so can I please do one thing?”
I could have sworn my entire body lit on fire in that moment, though I played it off. “Oh, what?” I fake yawned.
“Can I hold you?”
I wanted to be held, but I wanted so much more, I finally wanted to just… do something for me, maybe for us. I was too confused to make any big decisions, so I didn’t answer, I just turned on my side and let him pull me against him.
It was nice.
“Tell me about our first kiss,” Ivan whispered against my neck, his lips sliding down to my collarbone, goosebumps erupted all over my body. I shuddered against him. “All I know is that I was in a bathtub, wet, and bleeding, and you were—perfect.”
“Lie or truth?”
“Truth!” he said quickly. “Total honest to God truth, I hated you for it.”
“For being perfect?”
“For being out of reach, for being the daughter of a Family that murdered mine, for being part of something I wanted to be a part of despite my guilt, for being pretty when you smiled, for helping me when I didn’t deserve blood to be cleansed from my body—for looking and seeing an actual soul.”
“A dark one.”
“So dark.”
“I was never afraid of it.” I pulled his arms around me and pretended everything was going to be okay, that this was normal when it was anything but.
