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She jerked away, and her lower lip trembled. It was the first time I’d seen even a hint of her wanting to cry. “Is it so wrong, in this world of darkness and terror, to want something for yourself?”
I had nothing.
I stared her down.
Everything about our hatred for each other felt raw, like at any minute one of us was going to suddenly collapse and admit how exhausting it was to genuinely put so much energy into pushing someone away rather than pulling them close.
This time I really wanted to kiss her.
Not because I knew it would feel good or meet any need I had.
I wanted to kiss her because she was honest, she was brutally raw, and she was fucking gorgeous that way. “No. Sometimes, the right choice is to be selfish. How else can we survive in this sort of world without at least once choosing ourselves rather than the paths given to us?”
“Wow, hot body and wisdom all in one short shower. You know, you could be extremely attractive if you stop being a jackass half the time.”
I shrugged. “Too bad it’s part of my charm.”
“Yeah.” She swallowed slowly. “It really is.”
I ignored the way she stared at me, and I lashed out, like I always did when people saw too much then got that look in their eyes like we’d somehow shared some common ground or when you could tell they wanted to ask if you were truly okay.
“Anyway…” I shoved her when I walked past. “I’m saying this only because I care, but you really need to work on your kissing skills, I thought you were going to bite my tongue off. Most guys don’t like violence like that.” I winked, then instantly felt like an ass as I saw the panic in her eyes, like she hadn’t had enough time to put her shields back up, so my arrow soared, and it hit flesh. It didn’t hit the Bella I was used to sparring with because I’d already pulled down all her defenses.
I couldn’t tell if it was a tear that slid down her cheek or remnants of water, but what I could see were her red, swollen lips.
What I could taste was how sweet her mouth was.
What I could feel, I had no business feeling.
I left her alone in the shower, grabbed my towel and stomped out of the bathroom, only to nearly run right into Junior’s solid body.
He glared down at me. “Where are the kids?”
“In bed.” Why did I suddenly want to say, sir?
Ash popped up behind him, drinking a glass of wine. “They’re alive? Cared for? Asses are changed? Swear on your life that you didn’t make them cry.”
Have I mentioned I sometimes hate this Family?
I sighed and loudly announced, just so Bella could hear, “They’re in their rooms sleeping, Bam-Bam was selling his fruit snacks again to Barbie, Walt grabbed a calculator…” Ash cursed under his breath. “…and I’m pretty sure we’re getting audited now, it’s like he knows things.”
“Very funny.” Ash gritted his teeth. “He’s a badass.”
I sighed. “Hate to tell you this, but he’s one diaper away from asking for a tie and spectacles.” I sidestep him. “But good news, he’ll be awesome at cooking the books and won’t get shot at. Bam-Bam on the other hand…”
Junior narrowed his eyes. “Are you saying Bam-Bam is too dumb to math?”
You really couldn’t win with either of them.
“I’m headed to bed.” I pointed down the hall. “I’ll find a guest room, crash, then leave in the morning.”
Junior yawned. “You can bounce now, just take Bella with you. I know you guys wanted to grab some shit before going back to the dorms. Oh, and you have that party tomorrow night, right? The welcome to Eagle Elite and remember your place while you shit your pants party, God, I miss those days. Lydia said something about stopping by to make sure you guys don’t embarrass yourselves with shit music.”
I bit my tongue.
Lydia was honestly one of my favorites, but only because she was diabolical and could basically hack any three-letter agency with her eyes closed. She’d never been caught, though her dad, Sergio Abandonato, often had some interesting phone calls with the authorities. Then again, he used to work for one of them, so maybe that’s why they don’t give him shit.
We all had bets that she’d be recruited before she finished grad school. So far, she was showing no interest, but that was kind of her MO anyway, act bored so nobody notices while taking over the world and then laugh when it goes to shit.
