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What matters is that you live. That you stop and appreciate the little things because life is made up of those little things. You let every second count.
That’s what I’m going to do. Every second of my life is going to count from now on. Whether I spend it with Dave Simpson or not.
And right now, although I’d love to immerse myself in his body and have him give me ten orgasms, I’m not going to.
I’m going to just be with him.
Show him that I’m here, and that I care.
And yes, I could easily fall in love with him, but I’m not going to repeat the words he said to me.
It’s just not time yet.
“Dave?”
“Yeah?”
“I think I’d like to go home.”
He moves away from me. “Did I do something wrong?”
I kiss his shoulder. “No, not at all. But I think you’ve had a long day. A difficult day. I want you to be with your family. And I think I’d like to be with my family. I have a lot of thinking to do.”
“Anything I can help with?”
“You’re sweet to ask,” I say, “but you have your own stuff to deal with right now. I won’t burden you any further.”
He smiles. “I don’t mind, Maddie. It would be nice to take my mind off my own problems. The problems of my family.”
“It’s nothing like what you’re going through,” I say. “Now that I’m home, I’m thinking about going back to school. I can still catch up and finish my final semester on campus.”
He’s quiet.
Words scramble around my mind as I try to figure out how to continue the conversation—or end it—but then?—
He grabs my hand. “I don’t… I don’t want you to go, Maddie.”
“We can still see each other. I’ll just be in Grand Junction. No more than a half hour away.”
He presses his lips together. “Yeah, that’s true. I can’t be selfish right now. You need to do what’s best for you.”
“I think it might be best for both of us,” I say. “Maybe we both need some distance. Figure out if what we’re feeling is real or just in the moment.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”
My heart sinks a little. But what was I hoping he’d say? Please don’t go? I’ve fallen madly in love with you, Maddie? I’ll do anything to keep you here?
None of that was going to happen.
He has too much on his mind with his family.
All three of my siblings will be forced into the middle of whatever’s going on, but I can’t force myself into the middle when Dave isn’t sure about us.
I also need to make sure what I feel for him isn’t just infatuation. That it’s something more.
And perhaps going back to school will help me to figure that out.
Dave rises, grabs his jeans, and scrambles into them. “All right, baby. I’ll take you home.”
