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I don’t mention the Steel cousins, but he may already know who I’m talking about.
“Maddie, you aren’t in anyone’s shadow. And you need to realize that.”
I look down. “That’s what my dad says too. I suppose I need to stop letting yesterday take up too much of today.”
He widens his eyes. “Wow, that’s really profound.”
“Don’t be too impressed. I didn’t coin that phrase. Will Rogers did.”
“That’s okay. You pulled it out when you meant it.”
Then something comes to me.
“I’ve always been so interested in finding people who inspire me,” I say. “Maybe I need to start inspiring myself.”
Grayson grins. “You’ve inspired me already.”
I shake my head. “No, I’m being serious. I’ve read so many self-help books, and I end up feeling great after I read them. Then I go back into my old ways, but I always feel better when I’m helping someone else.”
“You could be a therapist.”
I shake my head. “No, definitely not a therapist. Clearly science isn’t my thing. More like a… A life coach.” I cross my arms. “I don’t think I would be good at helping someone heal from past trauma, but I think what I could do is help them look forward and achieve specific goals. And my first client is going to be myself.”
He smiles and takes a sip of his wine. “Did I just help you decide what to do with your life?”
I nod as a smile slowly spreads across my face. “I think maybe you did. It feels right. And nothing about where I’m going in my so-called career has felt right…like ever. It’s funny. When we were in Europe, Brianna told me that my gift was empathy, helping other people with their feelings. I think she may be right. I could use those skills as a life coach.”
“Sure you don’t want to go into therapy?”
“No, I don’t think so. I like to focus on the future rather than the past. It’s like Will Rogers said. Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.”
Rosalie returns to take our orders.
“I’m so sorry, Rosalie,” I say. “I haven’t even looked at the menu.”
“I’m having the lasagna,” Grayson says, “with a Caesar salad.”
“You know what?” I put down my menu. “I just had lasagna yesterday, but it still sounds good. I’ll have the same, Rosalie.”
Rosalie smiles and collects our menus. “Great, I’ll get these right in.”
I smile at Grayson, and he gives me a wide grin back.
I’m happy.
Happy to be here, and happy to be sharing a meal with a nice man.
Even though I’d much rather be looking across the table at Dave Simpson.
By the time we get into the Uber to go back, I’m just giddy. I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders, knowing now what I think I can do.
It’s like I’ve been training for this my entire life, looking for inspirational quotes, helping myself feel better about my situation.
And the funny thing is? I feel better about my situation right now in this moment than I have for a long time.
We get to the dorm, and Grayson walks me to my door.
“I had a great time, Maddie.”
