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This was more than an easy gesture. It was an offering. A shift in our dynamic.
Hope zinged through my body like light chasing away shadows. The air felt different tonight. The rumbles of something big starting.
I leaned in close to him. “You realize this is a pagan ritual, right?”
His eyes danced. Glittered, practically, with the candlelight flickering in his chestnut irises. The deep desire to please me reflected back. “I’m choosing to look at it through the lens of anthropology. But if you don’t mind starting with a prayer for the dead, I would appreciate it.”
“The chant I like?”
He nodded, always amused when I took a liking to some part of his faith.
“That sounds perfect.”
Gus gestured for me to take my place at the head of the table. He sat to my left. At the far end was the empty chair.
For all the dead.
For Granny.
“You want to explain this, or shall I try?” he asked.
I shook my head, too overcome with feelings to speak without my voice breaking.
He raised his glass of murky red wine. Our guests followed suit.
Ourguests. This was the first time we’d hosted anything since our awkward wedding. This felt more meaningful than our short, insignificant reception at his cousin’s restaurant. Then again, the impact of Gus perfectly planning this night was hitting me hard.
“Thank you all for coming tonight," Gus said. "And for George and Bethany arranging their schedules so that neither of them will get called out.”
“Mmhmm.” Bethany nodded. “And extra thanks to our apprentices for working in a mortuary on All Hallows Eve.”
“Samhain,” Sofia amended her mother’s statement.
“The most liminal time of the year,” I shivered. “Can you feel it in the air?”
Soula added, “The veil is thin,” and the whole table looked at her.
“What?” She shrugged. “You can’t have a witchy best friend for ten years and not pick up her catchphrases.”
Gus lowered his eyebrows and chuckled. “Okay, well, maybe I was the only one who’d never heard of a dumb supper, but Wikipedia tells me it’s a Victorian custom. A dinner eaten backwards—dessert to appetizers—and in total silence. In some areas, it was used to divine a future love interest. In others, it was done in remembrance of those who’vefallen asleep, as we say in Orthodoxy. Tonight, you’ll notice there’s an empty seat and an empty place setting. That’s to represent the people who can’t be with us because they’ve already passed through that veil, waiting for us on the other side.”
“Your granny, Dec,” said Bethany.
“And your parents,” Soula added.
Hot tears spilled out onto my cheek. My throat tightened. It was perfect, the most incredible gesture from Gus and my friends.
I glanced around the table at the faces of those friends, burning this moment into memory. I couldn’t help but think of it all as fleeting. That we’re on this earth for a split second. The preciousness of our laughter, our youth, our families could be stripped away so quickly.
When my time came, and the doula sat by my bed to plan my final hours, I wanted the memory of this dinner to call out from the depths of my subconscious.Hey—look at that wonderful life you had. You were so loved.
This was it. This was the sweetest life had to offer.
“I raided your granny’s recipe tin. I hope you don’t mind.” Gus said.
I hadn’t even noticed the food. Of course. That’s why it smelled so familiarand comforting.
“Oh, my God,” I sobbed. “I can’t believe… You guys…” I couldn’t stop the tears streaming down my face. My words weren’t working. Nothing could express how full my heart felt.
