Page 77 of The Bones of Love


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“Go to hockey.”

“I didn’t—”

“Go to hockey, Gus. Even if you can’t play, you should be there for your team.” She didn’t take her eyes off the road, but she swallowedhard, subtly wiping her eye. Fuck. I was absolute trash at being married.

Okay. She’d win this round. Our communication was in failure. But that was today. It wouldn’t be for much longer. I hated that pained look on her face. I wanted to wipe it off and never let it darken her brow again.

But it wouldn’t happen tonight.

Her favorite holiday was coming up. She’d been excited about Halloween ever since we’d planted all those pumpkins in the garden. She’d gotten me excited to watch them get all big and orange.

I didn’t know much about Samhain from her side of the spiritual spectrum, but I knew it was an important day. The witch’s New Year. I had plenty of books to research what might make it great for her.

That’s exactly what I was going to do.

Decca, Samhain/Halloween

“Gus?” I shouted intothe dark house.

I dropped my keys into the chipped ceramic dish, my eyes glazing over as I stared vaguely at the yellow and plum violets around the rim.

It had been a rough week and now, on my favorite night of the year, I barely had the energy to celebrate. My shoulders ached after sitting at a computer all day. I wanted to pass out right here on the floor.

“Don’t move. I’ll be right down.” Gus hollered from upstairs. There wasn’t a light on in the house. He must have been studying when the sun had set, letting the darkness settle on the floor below.

Usually, I wasonewith the dark. A creature born from blackness. But after the red tape I’d been dealing with at the office all week, I was looking forward to ending the day in a cozy, glowing home.

My heart sank. I thought Gus would have lit the jack-o’-lanterns by now. I’d only been talking about tonight for weeks.I had carved so many faces into the pumpkins we’d grown. I honestly thought he’d take some initiative and make it look nice in here.

Oh well. No sense dwelling on it. I was late, and it was already time to slip into full storybook witch regalia, sit outside under a Samhain moon, and cackle at kids’ scared faces as they weighed their desire for candy against the potential risk of being thrown into a boiling cauldron and devoured by the real neighborhood witch.

Granny’s house on Halloween was legendary. I hadn’t done as much as I should have this year.

“Close your eyes,” he said as he ran down the stairs.

“It’s dark enough I don’t have to.” We’d gone into Daylight-saving time only the previous week, and I still wasn’t used to the abrupt darkness. My eyes still hadn’t adjusted from the light of the porch.

“Don’t make me blindfold you.”

In my dreams.

His warm hand slid over mine, clasping my fingers, pulling me toward him. He so rarely touched me; I was hyperaware of the feel of his hand over mine.

“Follow me.” His low voice rumbled over me, kindling my senses. “Uh uh, keep them closed.”

Slowly, he guided me through the front hall, the kitchen, and into what I thought was the dining room, where we stopped. Other than Barry, my former pet skeleton, it was like most dining rooms, a rarely used space that only collected dust.

It looked brighter in here behind my eyelids. He tucked my hair behind my ear before his hands dropped. The feel of his body language gave me a bad vibe.

“I know I haven’t been a great husband to you. I haven’t really let myself give in to the idea of being your husband. Between mydad and church, your work schedule, and my…other issues, being suddenly married to you—”

“Gus, please don’t. Not tonight of all nights. I’m trying to play by the rules. I am barely holding myself together knowing the thought of having sex with me repulses you—”

“Decca, no. That’s not—”

“From everything I was told about you, it seems like you fucked everything with tits. It hurts. Being told again and again that I’m the only one… I don’t know what is such a turn off about me, that you have to—”

“Dec—” Gus’s voice was harsher this time.

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