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But with Lainey. It was more than my last name. She saw deeper than anyone else, straight down to my very soul. She saw me. Then I fucked it up. I should have stayed. I never should have left her in that hotel room. The only person who ever truly saw me, and I pulled the curtains on her, letting her believe everything everyone else already had.
I didn’t know how to fix it.
I had left Lainey for a reason, but the more time that had passed, the more I questioned my own reasons. Was it because Lainey deserved better than me, or was it because I was scared shitless that a woman with her sexy as sin curves had the power to take me to my knees? It was a power no other woman had ever held over me before, and I had no idea what to do about it.
My eyes lifted to Char, and her dark eyes softened.
“How do I get Lainey to see that?” I asked.
“She already does.”
“She pushed me away.” That night in the coat closet, she made it as clear as day she was done with me.
Char dropped her gaze to the stem of her glass. She drew invisible lines around the base with her finger. “I’m disappointed in you.”
“After all the nice things you just said to me?” I joked.
She shook her head and laughed. “You’re a fighter. Always have been. Kind of need to be when you’re smack dab in the middle of seven. Yet you’re giving up before you’ve truly fought. If you want people to believe, if you want Lainey to believe you’re good enough for her, then fight for her.”
“What if…?”
“You fail miserably? She throws a spatula at your head?”
“Something like that.”
“I’m almost counting on it, but if you let a spatula stop you from the woman you love, then she does deserve better than you.”
Chardonnay slid off the stool, wrapped her arms around me, pulling my head down to kiss the crown, before walking off without another word.
And in her own way, she’d never been more direct.
I took her glass and dumped it in mine. It would be a shame to waste it. But as I sat there, sipping the wine, the conversation with Char running through my mind, I realized it was Friday night.
I had somewhere to be.
It took me fifteen minutes to get to the distillery. The parking lot was packed. Word must have gotten out to the tourists about Brady’s horror movie showings. It didn’t help that Sonya’s food truck was stationed on the far-left side of the lot. The line trailed down the sidewalk.
Luckily, I took the Jeep and was able to drive up on the curb. I threw the truck in park and headed inside.
The air was crisp, but it felt good against my heated skin. I should have showered or at least changed. I looked like I was in a heat box welding for the last three hours. But that would waste time, and I didn’t have time to waste.
I stepped inside the distillery and was immediately greeted by Jack and his wagging tail. He plopped at my feet and rolled onto his back. Brady was helping a handful of people, so I gave Jack a quick belly rub before bypassing the crowd and making my way out the rear door.
The Shining projected onto the sheet, and Danny appeared on his tricycle in the hallway. The first time Lainey saw this movie, she had slept over our house. She was thirteen and scared shitless. Rhone and Austin snuck outside with hockey sticks and tapped Sherry’s window. I can still hear the screams that billowed out of the room right before Lanes burst through the door and into my arms.
I never thought it was because I was special. She would have run to any familiar face in the hallway that night. It just happened to be me. But it’s a memory that has stuck all these years. The fact that it was playing now… maybe the universe was on my side.
My eyes scanned the crowd. Michael and Kenneth were next to Bill and Silvia, all four enjoying tacos from Sonya’s truck.
Sonya’s tacos were great, but I only craved one thing. I continued to search the familiar faces, bypassing Steve, Cindy, and Addy, making a mental note to ask Cindy and Addy about their alpaca farm.
Where was Lanes, though? She never missed a horror movie night. After her scare all those years ago, she set out to watch as many horror movies as possible. She’d deny it, but she did it because she never wanted to be that scared again. She watched so many movies she became desensitized to the horror on screen and was able to enjoy the storytelling. Though, I knew for a fact this particular movie still got under her skin.
The dead bodies of the twins flashed on the screen and gasps filled the approaching fall air. One gasp was undeniable. My body turned in the direction before my eyes even found her, but when they did, everything came to a stop. Lainey sat on the very bench we shared only last week, but this time she wasn’t alone, holding a blanket for me to join her.
Damian wrapped his arm around her and pulled her toward him. A smile tilted her lips, and she snuggled into his side. My heart had always been a muscle doing its job behind the scenes, but now I could physically feel it.
And it ached.
