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“I’ve never left a note before. But I couldn’t leave without saying something.”
“You could have woken me up. Could have said it to my face.”
I opened her car door and placed the bottles on the backseat, freeing my hands. I slammed the door and faced her now. “I couldn’t.”
“Why not?”
My teeth dug into my cheek, jaw clenched tight. She had to know. There was no way she was blind to what everyone else already knew. She was too good for me. I could never be the man she needed me to be. She deserved the world, and all I had to offer was a man who didn’t know how to do anything but run.
“I just… I couldn’t.”
She shoved me once. Twice. Tears welled in her dimmed blue eyes. “You’re a coward.”
I was.
“If I was a fuck and dump just like all your other conquests, at least treat me the same. The note made it worse. Whether it was special to you or not, it doesn’t matter. It was special to me, and you cheapened it by leaving a fucking note.”
Every muscle in my body constricted. Anger at the situation, at those damn tears in her eyes, consumed me. I bit back the fury that was building, pushed it deep down, and stepped toward her, resisting the urge to take her face in my hands. “You weren’t a fuck and dump.”
A laugh burst from her lips. “I believe when you fuck someone and then leave, that’s exactly what it is. Unless you have a different definition.”
“It had nothing to do with you.”
“Oh, that’s rich. You’re going to pull the, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit. Spare me.” She spun away, flinging her driver’s door open, then hesitated before turning back to me. “I’ve always defended you because I know deep down, you’re a good person. That if you just believed in yourself, you could love someone with your whole heart. I was never dumb enough to think that would be me. I know I’m not your type. But for a single moment, when you looked into my eyes, I swear I saw your heart. Your soul. The breaking down of the wall that you have been hiding behind for too damn long. And even if you couldn’t love me, maybe, just maybe, I could be the one to open you up to love because I want you to be happy. But then you left me with a fucking note, and I realized you will never be happy. Your walls are too strong. I tried to break them down and, in the end, all I did was break my own heart. So please, do me a favor, and stop whatever it is you’re trying to do right now and move on with your life. Because that’s what I’m doing. Go take that brunette home for all I care.”
She slipped into her car and reached for the handle. Her eyes met mine for one final glance. “Goodbye Nero.”
While it was early for most people, it was late for me. I had to make a stop at the farm stand before heading into the bakery. Sherry was hosting an event at the winery for Vine Valley’s Historical Society and asked me to provide a cake. Since blueberries were in season, and Albert’s were the best, I figured I’d make a three-layer lemon blueberry cake with lemon cream cheese frosting.
It was Odette’s favorite. I figured I owed her since she tried to control the rumor mill after Nero kissed me in the tasting room. The parking lot was empty except for Albert’s tractor. He didn’t open for at least another hour, but he was on the property every day by six-thirty am. He could grunt and moan all he liked, but everyone knew Albert loved his farm and would never leave if he didn’t have to go home to shower and sleep.
I pulled beside his tractor, grabbed the reusable shopping bag Sherry bought me at a local fair that had a picture of two cupcakes and said ‘Singles Night at the Bakery’ with the cupcakes saying ‘Hey Stud Muffin’ and ‘Hey Cupcake’ and got out of the car. The farm stand was a basic wood structure, with rows of fruits and vegetables piled high in baskets or just stacked beneath. According to my dad, the land had once housed a small farm cart, and when Albert bought the land, he spent two years building the current structure by himself. The cart still sat on the land, but now was part of the pumpkin patch and used as a platform for his famous scarecrow displays that would be going up in the next couple of weeks.
An American flag fluttered in the light breeze, and the scent of freshly picked apples hit me, reminding me that apple and pumpkin season were about to be in full swing.
“Good morning, Albert,” I said as I spotted the old grump placing a basket of tomatoes by the register. His gray hair was covered by a Vietnam Veterans hat he had pulled down to his bushy eyebrows. He had on a red and black flannel shirt under a pair of overalls.
He swatted his hand at the air. “Ah! What’s good about it?”
“You woke up and can live another day.”
“Or I didn’t wake up, and the nightmare continues.”
“One of these days, you’ll greet me with a big ol’ smile and an exuberant ‘Good morning, Lainey!’”
“Are you drunk?”
I stifled a laugh. “It’s a little too early for that.”
“It’s a little too early for you to be talking, but that doesn’t seem to stop you.”
“What’d you say?” Nero came around the bend, carrying a box. The easy smile that had been on his too perfect face slipped. His lips parted, and our eyes met.
“Oh,” I said before I could snap my mouth shut.
Nero stood, box in hand, staring at me. “Lainey. What are you doing here?”
The anger that had sizzled through me a few days ago at the winery had subsided. How could I be mad at him for something he always did? I knew what I was doing. I knew he didn’t do more than a single night, yet I openly agreed to let things happen.
