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“I was supposed to deliver that car, sweetheart. You don’t just tell a gang that you changed your mind. Thanks, but no thanks.” A mocking laugh slipped from him at the very idea. “Certain individuals came for me when you went home one night. I barely got out of that room with my life.” They’d come to kill him because they’d been so sure he would talk to the cops about their operation. At the time, the car theft ring they’d been working had been absolutely huge. But it hadn’t just been about cars. It had been about drugs. Weapons. Pick your poison.
Beau cleared his throat and continued, “They were gonna pump me full of drugs. I wouldn’t wake up when they were done with me. Maybe they thought it would look like I died of my injuries or some shit. Maybe they didn’t care what it looked like. But I wasn’t going out that way. I fought them, even with that stupid cast on my leg. Then I got out.”
“You left me.”
Never. “They look for weaknesses. I couldn’t let them hurt you in order to get to me.”
“I-I didn’t matter. You’d just met me.”
“You always mattered. From the moment I met you.”
Her lashes swept down to cover her eyes as Avalon seemed to find the floor oddly fascinating. She must, the way she stared so hard at it. But she murmured, “You mattered, too. From the moment I met you.”
Did she have any idea how badly he wished that was true? But she wanted the whole story, so he’d keep giving it to her. “I had to get out of that gang. Sever ties. But it wasn’t easy. There were things I knew I’d have to do. Power I’d have to gain.” A dark part of his life that didn’t need to ever touch her. “When I could be clear, I was gone from that life. Done. But I wasn’t alone. When I left New Orleans, I took Royal with me. He’d been in the same gang, only I knew he didn’t belong there. Royal was like me. Hell, so much like me.”
“Brother from another mother.” Her gaze had lifted to study him once more. “That’s what he said.”
She didn’t understand. “I told you that my mother left me. She abandoned me in a church.”
Her eyes were so wide.
“When he was two years old, he was found wandering around Royal Street.”
A swift inhale.
“That’s why he mocks about us being brothers—brothers from two mothers who’d abandoned us. Royal has no idea what became of his mother. I know mine died. I also know that he was a torn-up kid who needed someone to watch out for him. I took him with me when I left, and we’ve been in and out of each other’s lives ever since.” Royal had so much darkness inside of himself. So much pain. For a while, Beau had been afraid of what Royal might become.
I tried to help him. To channel him. Beau was still trying. Some days, Beau thought he might be helping his friend. Other days, he worried that he was just putting Royal on a path straight to hell.
“He’s…your bodyguard.”
Occassionally, maybe. But mostly, “Royal is his own thing. He has his own business interests. His own goals. But, yeah, he’ll do some bodyguard work for me because he is one of the most dangerous bastards I know. Royal is also my family. I don’t care about blood. He has been with me through every nightmare I’ve faced. He knows how important you are to me. When I need someone that I can absolutely trust with your safety and I can’t be there, he steps in.”
“You’ve seriously been…guarding me all this time.”
She was sugarcoating. “Yeah, let’s just call it guarding instead of stalking. Way more PC.”
“Beau—”
He stepped back. “I was going to stop.” That had been the plan. “Once we’d unmasked the arsonist. I never intended to actually enter your life. I wasn’t even going to talk to you.”
Her delicate jaw seemed to harden.
“I’ve watched you. Saw you go out with other men.” Had wanted to rip those men to freaking pieces, but he hadn’t. Because… “I want you happy. That is all I’ve ever wanted, and I know you can’t be happy with someone like me.” He swung away and stared out the window. Darkness stared back.
Didn’t it always?
“Beau, I believe this is the part where you should ask me what I want.”
“You want to be safe. You want to be free.”
“I actually want this really arrogant asshole of an ex-gang member.”
Beau’s shoulders tensed.
“He’s this really intense guy who may or may not have been a crime boss. He recently had his bar burn right in front of him, but instead of being enraged about losing something that mattered so much to him, he’s basically moving heaven and hell combined because he’s trying to protect me.”
Beau looked straight ahead. In the window’s glass, he saw more than darkness. He saw Avalon’s reflection as she edged up behind him.
