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What? “Why not?”
“Because I built this den for my mate. Until the bond was finalized, she was only my intended. It’s you, sucre. You, Fallon. You’re the one. You’re the only one I’ve invited into my life like this.”
Oh.
Um. Wow.
I don’t know what to say to that, and because I’m a little speechless, I do what I always do.
Moving away from Lucas, heading toward his dresser, I wave my hand at a row of toys he has displayed on top.
“What are these?”
It’s obvious from the way his lips thin that Lucas knows I’m changing the subject. For a moment, I expect him to push the subject. I’m trying the best I can to deal with it, and I think he’s disappointed that I can’t just come out and tell him what my problem is.
I want to. If there’s anyone who would understand what I’m struggling with, it’s Lucas. For seventy years, he mourned the mate he lost. At the same time, though, the curse split him into two: himself and the beast. Talking about his feral side, Lucas made it clear it was a separate part of him, just like Jolie is different from the rest of me.
But he loved Jolie. I have no doubt in my heart that he loves me, too. And, hey, it’s not like I was an untouched virgin when I met him. He’d only been with Jolie, though they hadn’t bonded before she died. Me? I lost track of my lovers over the years and keep them firmly where they belong: the past.
I guess I just wanted Lucas to be able to do the same thing… but how can he when I’m his past? Not just a physical reminder of what his lost mate looked like, either, but like a modern, hopefully better version of Jolie. Jolie 2.0, new and improved.
I know what he’d say if I admitted that out loud. He’s told me before that he sees Fallon and Jolie as two different females—and that I fell in love with me when he caught me trying to steal the ax from his wall of weapons.
Jolie didn’t do that. I did.
Jolie was torn to shreds by a wolf… and maybe the reminder of her brutal death is why—in this life—the sight of blood has me going almost fucking catatonic at times, but I survived the beast.
Fuck.
I became the beast.
I can barely look at the scars on his neck. I know he told me they were his mating mark, and that he’s proud of them, but all I see is the evidence of me completely losing my fucking mind.
And after he spent two weeks trying to bring me back around, he still wants to move forward with forever, just him and me?
Easing close to me, wordlessly making his point that I’m his mate, and while he’ll let me get away with changing the subject, that amount of distance between us is unacceptable to him for the moment.
“These? They’re model trains.”
I can see that. “Did you make them?”
“No. Tristan did. He gave them to me.”
Huh. That’s… that’s kind of surprising. I don’t know, but fiddling with these toys doesn’t seem to be something Tristan would do.
Just goes to show that I don’t know my fellow packmates all that well yet. Probably because, oh, yeah, it’s only been two months, but that’s okay. When Lucas said ‘forever’, he meant it, and the only way I’ll learn about them is by asking my infamous questions and getting to know them better.
So Tristan builds model trains.
Turning into Lucas, completely forgetting about our shower for the moment, I go up on my tiptoes, pressing a kiss to the edge of his jaw.
“What about you?” I ask. “What does the Alpha do?”
“Besides my beautiful mate?” Lucas says, his voice going husky as he wraps his arms around me again.
I grin up at him. “Yup. You’re my mate now, Lucas. My one and only. I already love you. I like you, too. That means I want to know all about you.”
He chuckles. “I guess I should prepare myself for your questions.”
