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Is Jeremy doing the same?
I leave, making sure the room’s shut safely behind me, and go downstairs.
In the few minutes I’ve been gone, the place has filled with wall-to-wall people who are all here to have a great night.
I grab a can of pre-mixed cocktail from the kitchen and look for Jeremy, hoping it won’t be a repeat of the last party, determined not to let anything ruin this night.
Chapter Sixteen
Istayed. I kept my promise, and I slept in his bed.
The party raged on, and Jeremy and his friends lived up to their reputation.
There were pills, weed, and alcohol, which fuelled the party until the morning. After smoking more than the last time I tried it, Jeremy gave me a pill, balanced on the tip of his tongue, before he kissed me.
But I didn’t care because I was already high. I was finally with him, without worrying about who was going to come in and ruin us. It was freeing. We were all laughing and drinking. It was the night we all wanted.
Until my head started to spin, and I wanted to throw up.
I got some water and went upstairs.
And now I’m looking up at the ceiling from his bed, still in my clothes from last night, and there’s no Jeremy.
When I saw his mum last night, I felt sorry for her.
And now, here I am, drowning in sorrow. I don’t even want to look at what’s outside the door. So, I stay in the room and take a hot shower instead, hoping to rid myself of this terrible headache.
There’s no sign of anyone as I creep outside of the bedroom. It’s like I’ve been caught doing something I shouldn’t, and I’m leaving the scene of a crime.
As I get downstairs, the scattered remnants of last night grow in quantity. People are still passed out on sofas, bottles of alcohol, cups, and food all over the place.
Finally, I find Jeremy with a few other mates outside on the lounge chairs. I consider waking him but don’t.
I just start the walk home.
“Hey, so, how was it?” Mum comes into the front room, a big smile on her face as I close the door behind me. Considering we’ve not been on the best of terms recently, it’s a comfort.
“It was good. Great, actually. I’m just tired.”
“I bet. But you don’t have to worry about getting up for exams now. You’re free. For a few weeks, anyway. Then we can relax on the beach every day if you want.” She heads back towards her studio. I’d not really thought about Cornwall with everything else going on. Perhaps Jeremy will come down, too. Then I can split my time with him and my mum like last year.
“What do you think about takeout, ice cream, and a film tonight? We’ve not done that in ages. Invite Sammy, too?” Mum calls.
“It sounds great. I’ll message her, but I’m not sure if she’ll have plans.”
“Then all the more ice cream for us.”
Mum had stopped inviting Jeremy to things. Not in a mean way, but perhaps in a way to limit how much time we spent with each other. It’s right there, desperate to spring from my mouth. What about Jeremy? But I keep quiet.
Sammy and I need to get back on speaking terms, and I couldn’t do that when he was around. Maybe I’ll tell her about the assault or what’s happened with Jeremy? But a part of me wants to keep it a secret. The more people who know, the more real it will be.
Sammy comes over. We talk, although it’s strained. I apologise, and so does she, although she has no reason to. There are other things to be said; we both know it, but we choose not to dredge it up. It’s as though we can both tell we need this time to heal before looking at the harder questions later.
We order pizza and share the biggest tub of chocolate fudge ice cream, and for the first time in months, everything between us feels right again. Having them around helps because Jeremy hasn’t called. No messages, nothing. But for tonight, I don’t need to worry about him because I have my best friends around me again.
There’s still nothing from Jeremy by the morning, and my irritation gets the better of me as I lob the phone across the room. Luckily, it lands against the pile of clothes on my desk chair and doesn’t break.
I drive over to his place and expect to see the carnage from the party still littering the place. “Hello?” I call as I open the door. It’s eerily quiet, but I stop dead in the hallway as I look around.
