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“No,” I mumble. She’s right. I’m going insane and have been since I came back. “It would be easier, though.”
I can do this. He kissed me a few weeks ago, so he’s not so intimidating. My little pep talk helps me reach his table.
“Hey, Jeremy.” He looks up at me, but his expression doesn’t change: no recognition, no surprise, or pleasure at seeing me.
“Jeremy? Who the fuck is Jeremy.” They all laugh before he has a chance to say anything, and my cheeks flame with embarrassment.
“Guys, leave it,” he says.
“Oh, defending Little Miss Anna? Come on, Archer, what gives?”
“Nothing, you just don’t need to be a jerk, Derek.” Jeremy stands up and steps towards me like he did that day back in school when I first spoke to him.
“He can’t help it, Arch. It’s in his DNA,” another of his friends joins in.
All the while, I stand there, waiting and feeling like the biggest idiot. As though he’s taking pity on me, he guides me away from the guys and looks down at me, waiting for me to speak.
“Hey,” I repeat.
“Hey.” He doesn’t elaborate, and we stay there — not talking.
“Um, I’m sorry. Did I do something wrong?”
“No, why?”
My heart feels like it’s being squeezed in my chest.
“I just thought. I don’t know. That you wouldn’t ignore me.”
“I’m not ignoring you. We’re talking.”
“Okay, whatever. I guess I’ll see you in science.” I walk off, shaking my head. I can feel the sting of tears threaten, which would be mortifying, so I blink a dozen times to stave them off.
“Anna?” Sammy looks concerned as I glance up at her.
“Not now. Just walk with me.” I pull her out of the common room, and we head towards our next lesson.
“What happened?”
“What do you think — it was just something that happened in the summer — nothing else.”
“Did he say that?”
“No, but he didn’t say anything. That’s the problem.”
“Oh, Anna. I’m sorry.” There’s pity in her eyes, and I hate it.
I pull the memory of our kiss back to mind. How can someone kiss like that — make me feel like that — and then turn cold and aloof?
Science was going to be torture.
I’d imagined the first day back at school being more… just more. Admiring Jeremy Archer from afar, knowing every girl in school wanted to be his girlfriend, was something I was used to. But the summer had changed that, and it hurt that he acted so indifferently.
The next day, I arrive at our science lab and take a quick look around before going over to our assigned table. Jeremy is already there. It takes everything in me not to just turn and smile at him. I concentrate on emptying my bag and taking out my textbook and pencil case before pulling out the stool and sitting down.
I read the title of the topic we’re covering on the board and flick to the correct page while everyone else comes in and gets settled.
“Hey, Anna,” he tries to get my attention, but I ignore him. I don’t want to be in trouble for talking in class in our first lesson.
