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“So,” I prompt.
“Well… He’s finally out of my life. He was in a crash with his wife. They died. But there were some questions from the insurance company which held everything up. He was drinking, which doesn’t fucking surprise me.” His voice turns bitter, and he fidgets in his chair. “He couldn’t even die without ruining my life again.”
“Jeremy, that’s?—”
“I don’t mean it,” he rushes in. “I did. I really did. But that’s not how I feel now.”
I wait for him to elaborate because the pieces of the story aren’t complete yet.
He takes a sip of his coffee and leans back in his chair, then leans forward again. His eyes watch my hands on the table, and I wonder if he wants to take them and hold them like he used to.
“I never met her.”
“Who?”
“His wife.” He spits the word before carrying on. “I’ve barely spoken to him since that day.”
I didn’t need to be told which day he was talking about.
“They divorced, and that was that. I took his money. I had no problem with that. But I didn’t go to his wedding. And I didn’t know if I had a sister or a brother, just that they’d had a child. Then, all this explodes, and suddenly, I’m her guardian. I’m the one meant to look after her.”
It’s clear that he’s hurting and angry with the situation he’s been put in.
“When did he die?” I ask.
“Nearly six weeks ago. The funeral is on Tuesday.”
I nod. “And you’ve had her since?” My words are timid, like I’m not sure how to talk about her with him.
“Yeah. Poppy is her nanny. It’s the only stability I can offer her.”
“Are you going to…” But I can’t finish that sentence. It’s a horrible thing to even contemplate.
“Keep her? It’s all right. I thought it, too. That is until I met her. Then everything changed.” His face beams with a smile that I used to think he only kept for me. There’s a wonder there as if he can’t quite believe his luck.
“And your mum? You said she was going into a facility.” I need to change the subject.
“My mother.” He takes an exaggerated inhale. “It’s time she has the care she deserves. Maybe now he won’t be able to hurt her again.”
His words and the way he says them terrify me.
Time and time again, I’ve allowed Jeremy to hurt me. Will that be my fate? The same as Penelope Archer’s? In and out of rehab with every break of my heart?
It’s like he reads my mind and this time, he does reach for my hands. “No. Don’t think like that. You’re nothing like my mother.” His words are resolute, but I can’t help but see all the similarities. The pressure on my hands grows as if he can physically stop me from following my chain of thought, and he doesn’t let go as I stand, gripping me tighter.
“Anna, wait. Please.”
“Let go.” He does, and I leave. But I can hear him following.
“Anna, wait.”
The rain stops as I open the door to leave, but the clouds still look full and threatening.
“Come back and meet Sophie. Please.”
But I don’t want to meet her.
I start jogging, the cold and damp of my clothes confining me, trapping me.
