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“I know you aren’t sure,” he said softly, “but I brought her down just in case.”
His hand stretched toward me, offering her as easily as one would give another a card or a birthday present. I gently took her from his grasp and held her tight against my chest. “He wants her,” I breathed. “Am I a bad person if I can’t do that for him?”
Hunter’s arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back to his chest. “No, sweetheart. You aren’t a bad person.”
The backs of my eyes burned hot with the threat of tears. It didn’t feel real, any of it, and as Hunter pressed his lips against the side of my cheek, I tried to swallow any hint of sadness. “He’ll be closed up and lowered once I say my goodbyes, right?”
“He will.”
“Okay.”
Hunter took a deep breath and squeezed me gently. “I’ll let you do what you need to. I’ll be inside, okay?”
I nodded, and his arms slowly released me, leaving me alone with both of my dead parents. One in a casket, one in an urn. They should be together for eternity.
I’d spent most of my life with Mom just being an urn. She’d lived on the mantel for so many years, occasionally disappearing when I’d had a nightmare or Dad needed her closer, but she’d always find her way back in the morning. I turned to the back sliding door.
Hunter had closed it behind him, locking in the sounds of the service and drawing the curtains. All that accompanied me were the empty chairs, the howling wind, and the plot dug out for him next to his favorite spot on the porch.
“I’m sorry I lied,” I said quietly, looking up to the sky instead of down at my father. “I’m sorry for putting on a charade, you deserved better than that. I just wanted to give you some peace of mind.”
I turned the urn over in my hands, memorizing the feel of it, the patterns on it. I wasn’t even sure if I had a photo of it.
“I can make up for that now,” I whispered.
Slowly, achingly, I laid the urn down beside Dad inside the casket. I knew it would be hard emotionally on me but I wasn’t expecting him to still be stubborn, even in death. His arm barely moved as I tried to slide her beneath it. I thought would be an easy task but I was wrong. I finally was able to wedge her in and as I did, I felt a calmness envelop me.
Mom had always completed him.
“I hope she brings you as much peace now as she did before.” I took a deep breath, pushing down the grief once again. “I love you, Dad.”
————
I stayed inside, socializing to the best of my ability, as they lowered him into the ground and began packing the dirt on top. Many people at the service didn’t even know my father, yet still turned up to pay their respects. Friends from high school that I hadn’t seen in years were there. A handful of people from work even stopped by, which surprised me. Hunter’s brother and his wife turned up as well as their parents. Through it all, Hunter stayed by my side, my rock.
There were far too many people in my not-so-large house and I was grateful for every one of them. But after he was fully buried and everyone left, I would need to adjust to my new normal. I would need to learn how to live without parents.
“I’m so sorry,” Holly, Hunter’s mom, said softly to me as she squeezed my arm lightly. “I’m so happy he was able to make it to the wedding, at least.”
I nodded, giving her a half-hearted smile. “Me too.”
“Hunter better be giving you all the time off you need,” Edward, his father mumbled.
“I have. Do you think I’m some sort of tyrannical overlord?” Hunter chuckled, pulling me just a little closer. “I wouldn’t make any of my employees work after the death of a parent. Especially not my wife.”
“What are you going to do with the house?” Holly asked, motioning around her as if I wouldn’t understand what she was talking about.
I shrugged. “Don’t know yet. Probably fix it up. It needs a lot of TLC, but I don’t want to sell it. I could split my time between Hunter’s and here?—”
“Don’t be silly.” Hunter interrupted me, his fingers squeezing my side. “If you want to keep it, we’ll live here. I’m happy to sell my house.”
“What?”
His parents looked between us then at each other before scurrying off into the crowd toward the finger food Dana had laid out.
“I mean it. I can sell my house,” he said.
I didn’t know how to respond. Did I want him to move in with me? He’d practically been living here for the last three days, but we’d hardly spent any time together. He slept in the same bed as me, but I assumed it was because he was worried I wouldn’t sleep otherwise. Playing house like that wasn’t enough for a proper test run of living together.
