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“Things started to get messy after about a year and a half. Missed calls, lying about where he was, coming home smelling of perfume and alcohol… it was obvious but I didn’t want to see it, you know?” She sniffled then and I noticed little droplets forming in the corner of her eyes.
I didn’t want her to relive it, I didn’t understand why she felt the need to. All I wanted was to wrap her up in my arms, pull her into my lap, and force her to stop talking with my lips on hers. But there was also a part of me that knew she felt the need to get this out and I wanted to let her, wanted to allow her to handle it the way she felt was best.
“Then something happened, something that he’d promised me would never, ever happen, and it was like the veil had been ripped away from my face. So I called him out on it, and everything exploded.” Her voice broke as the tears sprung free. My chest ached for her, longed for her, but I kept myself seated. I wanted to ask what the something was but I knew I needed to just let her continue. “He screamed at me. Called me… called me awful things that I don’t want to repeat. He told me I was overreacting, that I was stupid for thinking it wouldn’t happen, that I… that I wasn’t worthy of love, and that’s why my mother died.”
Anger filled my veins faster than I could blink. My knuckles turned white as I clenched my fists, my jaw immediately blooming with pain as I grit my teeth. “Who?” I said, the word rough, venomous.
She shook her head.
“Who, Lottie?”
“Stop,” she croaked, wiping at her cheeks with the hand she had held her necklace with. “Just let me finish.”
It took absolutely everything in my power to not force her into telling me a name. I wanted to break him, wanted to kill him, but I would wait. I would handle this the way she wanted me to because, well, because she deserved it.
“He turned up on Dad’s doorstep a week later, crying his eyes out and apologizing over and over. Dad wouldn’t let him in, but when I heard him, when I understood what was happening, the love that I had for him took over. I went to him. I pushed my dad out of the way to get out on the porch.” Every breath was shaky, every tear dripping down her face adding more fuel to my fire. “I wanted to believe him. He was so convincing, Hunter. But he didn’t actually want me, even though I didn’t know that at the time. He just wanted control.”
“Lottie—”
“He dropped to one knee. Pulled out a ring with his snot-covered hands. I almost said yes. Dad kicked him off the porch before I could. Literally. Foot to his shoulder and everything. Told him to get off our land and never come back unless he wanted to leave in an ambulance.”
“Good,” I snapped. I couldn’t help myself.
“It took him about two hours before he started texting me horrible, disgusting things that I had to delete. Over and over. Thousands of missed calls and texts. I realized how stupid I’d been to even consider saying yes to him. He followed me around, popping up in random places where I was. He fucking stalked me, Hunter. He was everywhere. And the police couldn’t give two shits because he knew all of them.”
I wanted to rip his goddamn throat out.
“I went to Oahu to get away from him. Dad promised not to say a word to anyone, and somehow, I managed to evade him. I changed my number. I hid for months. And then you gave me an opportunity to come home, and I didn’t want to have to hide anymore. But he’s still around. He’s still texting me, calling me. He’s still showing up.”
She pulled her phone from her bag and placed it face up on the table with a trembling hand. Do Not Reply was the name that littered her lock screen, text message after text message after missed call after text message. Half of them a request to talk, half of them calling her a disgusting whore for being with me. I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m so sorry,” I mumbled, half in shock and half consumed with rage that was ready to boil over, as I scrolled and scrolled. I noticed the time stamp on each one, all within the last hour or so. “I wish you’d told me sooner.”
“I couldn’t.” She leaned forward onto the table, resting her face in her hands to hide from me. “I’m sorry. I’m trying, I just… I didn’t know how to tell you. I’ve wanted to, and yet I’ve not wanted to. I knew you’d want to know who he is.”
I’d never seen her like this. It was harrowing, humanizing, and her hesitation and anger toward me at the start made far too much sense now for me to think straight. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault. You can tell me when you’re able to, there’s no pressure.”
“You need to know,” she breathed.
“I don’t unless you want me to beat his face in,” I muttered.
“You don’t understand.” Her palms pressed against her eyes, and when she pulled them away, her mascara was smeared and her eyes bloodshot. “I don’t care if it hurts. I don’t care if you hate me.”
My brows knit as I leaned closer, studying her. Why on earth would I ever hate her?
“You deserve to know. I can’t keep it in any longer, Hunter. It changes everything. It’s Ja?—”
Her phone buzzed beneath my fingertips. Dana’s name and face popped up on her screen, and I pushed the phone toward her. My stomach sank, and I couldn’t quite tell why. “Lottie, Dana’s calling.”
She lifted her head, her face a mess of makeup and tears, and stared at her phone. “Dana shouldn’t be calling me. I told her not to unless it was an emergency.”
“Then answer it, Lots.”
Chapter 20
Lottie
The journey back to Boulder in the dead of night would’ve put me on edge if my dad being in the hospital hadn’t already done that.
