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Texas was hot. Not boiling like I’d imagined, but definitely not cold enough to even warrant an overcoat. I was perfectly comfortable in my long-sleeved black shirt and blue jeans, even if Hunter was somewhere around here in a suit, likely trying to find me.
As I paced down row after row of stalls, collecting pamphlets and business cards and feeling ridiculous for not thinking to bring my own to hand out, I couldn’t help but wonder what my dad had said to him. Hunter wasn’t offering much, he hadn’t reached out at all. Not even after the meeting, which I thought at least he would say something about. I hadn’t spoken to Dad that night after he’d come back inside, I was too worried I’d get my own lashing if I dared to ask.
I couldn’t decide if it was a good or bad thing that I didn’t want him to find me in the sea of people that surrounded me. I was more than capable of speaking to strangers about what I’d spent the last few weeks training for. There wasn’t a part of me that needed him here to help. There was only that tiny, minuscule part that wanted it.
The reminder of how truly awful men can be, especially men in this professional space, was enough to make me want that distance between Hunter and me again, especially if Jared was going to be appearing more often. I’d played it cool enough with Hunter to get him off the scent that Jared was my ex, but I knew that would only last so long.
I’d tried not to think about it. Tried not to remind myself that there was this major, horrible thing hanging over my head, wedging itself between us. I needed to tell him eventually, and when that eventuality came to fruition, I could only imagine Hunter being filled with anger. Jared has a reputation in this space, one that I had become aware of only after our relationship ended. The idea of Hunter lumping me in with someone like him, someone so spineless, so ruthless—it made my stomach churn. It made me want space. It made me want to cut this off before the inevitable happened.
A warm hand against the small of my back nearly made me jump.
“We should head to the last talk,” Hunter says casually, as if I hadn’t just avoided him for a solid two hours. “It starts in five.”
“Okay. Sure.”
“You alright?” His hand presses firmer against me, ushering me toward the doors along with the other people heading into the same talk as us. “You seem… off.”
“I’m fine,” I lie, forcing a grin as I glance up at him. I hold up my handful of pamphlets before shoving them into my bag. “I’ve got a lot to look at. That’s all.”
————
If there was any hope of me concentrating with Hunter’s hand on my thigh for the entire seminar, it had been blown out the goddamn window.
I’d spent every second either feeling endless guilt for not telling him who Jared was, or lost in swirling thoughts imagining the way he’d gently held my throat as he fucked me into goddamn oblivion. Neither made it easy to listen to what the person on the stage—some high-profile equine vet—had to say. At least I’d gotten another pamphlet to read.
The ride to the hotel had at least been quick. No time to have a real conversation, just a few words about new products I’d seen or breeds I was interested in. Hunter took it in stride, asking me questions pertaining only to what happened at the seminar. I wondered if he could tell that I wasn’t fully engaged. I wondered if he cared.
No, Lottie, he doesn’t.
But what if he did? What if there was a part of him that had noticed I was ‘off,’ being quiet? Was there a possibility of him putting the pieces together after the situation with Jared?
Fuck. I hadn’t thought about that. The way I’d acted, the chance that he’d heard any of that conversation before he appeared around the corner, the coincidences… he could figure it out for himself if he really tried. Maybe I did need to tell him.
If I didn’t, he’d find out eventually. There wasn’t a chance in hell that he wouldn’t. I wasn’t that lucky, no matter how much I wished otherwise. But I could maintain a calm between us while keeping my damned legs closed, and deal with it later.
I couldn’t win either way. If I told him, he’d be angry. If I didn’t tell him, and he found out some other way, he’d be angry that I kept it from him. I knew there’d be more tension between us. Maybe that wasn’t exactly a bad thing, considering our current situation. But the thought of him being angry with me instead of our usual reverie felt icky on my skin.
Maybe I should just get it the fuck over with and deal with the consequences sooner rather than later.
I didn’t know how to ask the question bouncing around my mind when we entered the elevator at our hotel. Our bags had been delivered for us, and all it had taken was Hunter giving his name at the front desk to get our room keys. I was hoping the woman behind the counter would at least verify the kind of room we were in, but all she’d said was penthouse.
I had to ask. I just had to know.
“Is this a one- or two-bed kind of situation?”
The laugh that rocked Hunter’s frame told me that I already knew the answer. “One. But there’s a pullout couch that I’m happy to sleep on if you’d like me to.”
I took a deep breath and watched the number on the inside of the elevator climb higher and higher. “Penthouse means top floor, right?”
“Kind of. It’s the upper floors. We’re in the smallest one though since it was a last-minute booking.”
“Great.”
————
The suite itself was lavish but not massive. There were two rooms: one living room and kitchen combo, and one large bathroom with an ensuite. The views were nearly one hundred and eighty degrees overlooking the Austin city limits, and the flat plains beyond. I couldn’t think of a more boring landscape other than the drive to Florida when my parents took me to Disney World. But at least Florida had signs warning you of alligators crossing the road. Texas had cowboy boots and cattle.
I heaved my suitcase onto the bed. Dana had come over last night to help me pack, trying to hype me up for the trip. I’d just ended up laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling while she threw item after item into my bag. My anxiety tipped the scales wondering what she’d given me.
